i just can't get enough.

when i was little i used to spend hours upon hours dancing and singing in the entry way of our house. there was what i'd like to think of as a stage in my make believe land, but really it was just a single stair that served as a platform looking out onto my mom's fancy living room. i pretended {oh i pretended!} that i had an audience - a full house - watching me perform. of all the time spent dancing on that step {blasting amy grant, spice girls, and mariah carey to name a few}, the moments performing scenes from the broadway musical, a chorus line, are the ones that stand out to me the most.

since moving to new york, i've added three more broadway shows to the list... the book of mormon, jersey boys, and most recently, annie. i love them all {jersey boys might be my most favorite of all time}, but there was something about annie that brought me back to the days of being a kid, channeling my inner clara, and truly dancing like no one was watching on that foyer.

there is a song in annie entitled nyc in which daddy warbucks serenades annie as he prepares to take her out for her first time in new york. its goes something like this...

what is it about you 

you're big 

you're loud 

you're tough nyc 

i go years without you 

then i 

can't get 

enough 

enough of the cab drivers answering back 

in the language far from pure 

enough of frankfurters answering back 

brother, you know you're in nyc 

too busy 

too crazy 

too hot 

too cold 

too late 

i'm sold 

again 

on nyc 

and the chorus...

you crowd 

you cramp 

you're still 

the champ 

amen for nyc

as i sat up on the second balcony peering down at the stage, i smiled. not because it was funny, but because there i was, all grown up, seeing a show that took me right back to being a kid. and, here i was listening to these lyrics all about this new city i am living in, which couldn't ring more true. it's tough... too this and too that, and yet, i just can't get enough. 

that bright eyed and bushy tailed dancer i was, never would have thought i'd be here. never would have imagined i'd be spending my friday nights in times square, or my tuesday nights at a jazz class in midtown. but, here i am. what was once a big scary place is becoming my home for now. that smile had every bit to do with the fact that i'm digging deep to embrace my inner dancer, the one with spirit and charisma and charm who believed that she didn't need an audience to dance, she just did it because she loved to.

{photo sent by a dear friend. thank you. at the time i had no idea this post would come out}.

santa clause is coming to town.

so this mariah carey tune has become one of my all time faves this season. 

santa claus is coming to town, but a way cooler version. it's mariah'ed.

meet my sisters, my pseudo sissies. i'm the middle child, smack dab in the middle age wise. we tend to make up dance routines, lots of them. it started when we were little c.a.p.a dancers and just this past summer we really stepped up our game again.

unstoppable.

make sure you give our latest a watch. it makes me smile so big and laugh out loud every play. i'd recommend blowing it up to full screen. just sayin'...

i hope it inspires you to dance like no one is watching this holiday season. 

so thankful for my sistergalpals. xoxo.

jazz hands.

loves, i've missed you.

i just wanted to stop in and tell you a little tiny sweet something {but please know i've been thinking about you nonstop since i last wrote}.

i dusted off the 'ol jazz shoes last night.

are you picturing jazz hands, jazz boxes, sashays, pas de bourrées, kick ball changes, and fan kicks? because you should be.

jazz is pure sass.

it occurred to me why i was so confident as a little girl. because i was a damn good dancer.

i want to find that girl again. to trust my body and know that there is grace in there. a true gift, if i just let go.

great lesson learned from just one class. 

a special thanks to my dancing pal for adventuring with me. she's got the moves like jagger, moves like jagger. photo found here.

i want to get back to my city by the bay.

happiness tip number three thousand four hundred and sixty seven. not really, but kind of.

put journey "when the lights go down in the city" on.

{on repeat, of course}.

and dance like no one is watching in your kitchen while cooking brussel sprouts to perfection. all on a tuesday night.



it works, i swear.

you will feel like the luckiest duck in the whole wide world knowing that you live in that city by the bay. yes, that very one.

i have this silly, vivid memory of the first time i ever heard this song.

i'm fifteen. sophomore year of high school. it's junior prom on treasure island. i'm wearing a long, sea-foam green, sparkly dress. this is the last song. balloons fall from the ceiling and a group of us are outside awaiting the limo, staring at the san francisco skyline. for some reason i remember the sky lit up with a bright golden sunset behind the bridge, although that doesn't make much sense now, as it must have been late in the night.

every time i hear this song i think of that moment. so young. i had no idea i'd be where i am now. no idea as i stared across the water, that that city would be my home. my everything. keeper of secrets and adventures and growing up and independence and struggle and healing and love and happiness.

this memory might only really make sense in my head, but it makes me smile.