you can have manhattan.

when i decided to move back to california i had to break my lease and take all of these very official steps to do so, one of which was mailing a certified letter of resignation signed and notarized to my management company.

'notarized.' 

this was a new one for me {one of the many things i have new york to thank}.

it means to certify a document and prove that it's really coming from you. one must visit a public notary to do so. to become one of these said notaries you have to take an oath {an oath!} and a written exam and bam! the secretary of state says you're in. you even get a very official and fancy embosser to stamp your highly certified documents with. i digress. this is not the point of the story.

so i find a public notary at a ups store just around the corner from my office. i have my letter printed, my certified check in hand {for so much money i can barely stomach it}, and i can't bring myself to go inside. is this it? am i really doing this? am i sure? do i push through another seven months? it's a disgustingly hot and humid day in june which isn't helping me think with a clear head.

now, i'm a believer in signs from the universe. a big believer. but they only come every so often and definitely not when you're looking for them.

earlier that day i was texting one of my dear little chickadees during her move back to the west coast. naturally, with any big life transition comes doubt and fear, so i texted her the lyrics to my favorite song of the moment by one of my all-time favorite artists as a little reminder to trust herself.

sara barielles, 'manhattan' goes something like this:

'you can have manhattan

i'll settle for the beach

sunsets facing westward

sand beneath my feet'

so here i am on lafayette street fretting and trying to just breathe through the anxiety and the humidity, and, you guys!, out walks sara barielles.

i can't help but feel like we're some kind of kindred spirits. she's from northern california. i'm from northern california. she moved to new york in the winter of 2013. i moved to new york in the winter of 2013.

she said: 'i always swore i would never live in new york. i always felt so overwhelmed here. it's ironic, the thing you think you don't need is the thing you actually need most.'

that's what i think too.

so that was all it took, really. to be reminded that i wanted it. that my grand plans for my next city are real and valid and deserved. it was a sign from the universe that i was doing the right thing.

into the ups store i went.

and i didn't look back.

*** 
sara barielles quote found in a billboard article and here's a great interview with her too. 
p.s. remember that one time we met?

really.

more than anything i feel grateful. and i know what you're going to say... gina, isn't that word of yours a little overdone?

but the thing is, it's true. i made a choice to approach every life experience this way, so even when the going gets tough i'm still able to put things into perspective and fill up with nothing but gratitude.

i decided to leave new york.

it just happened. all at once. and when i decide something, well, there's no going back. what's done is done.

i blame austin. but i think austin saved me, really. it was early may and i hadn't left new york for almost four months after a looooong winter, a failed attempt at love, and an insane work schedule. i kind of forgot what life was like outside of this place, but austin reminded me. it refreshed my memory of big open blue skies and serenity and life's simple pleasures like waking up to birds chirping, babies, big houses, crafting, driving in cars, and lazy afternoons. things that i forgot existed. a lingering anxiety melted away from my being and my heart was filled with nothing but hope. and optimism. the feeling that life could actually be what i wanted it to be. funny how that works, don't you think? you have to physically and emotionally not have what you want, to realize what you do want.

the thing is, i never belonged here. but who belongs in new york, really? that's not meant to be negative {a phrase i keep repeating} or harsh, it was just always an undefined adventure. a challenge. a dream. a wish.

so i did it. and it was everything i hoped for somehow. but also not enough.

***
p.s. for more austin adventures take a trip down memory lane.

it's your bucket, i'm just livin' in it.

right before i moved from san francisco i started crossing things off a bucket list {remember, here and here}, and i've been living my life that way ever since. i think it's a good approach to take so as not to get stuck, and instead live life fervently, where weekends start with a sense of adventure and end with a feeling of accomplishment. so, let's get to it, shall we? oh, one warning, this post really should be like, 11 separate ones...oops. ready, go!

1. visit the bill cunningham 'facades' exhibit.

a long time ago when it was still winter, i went uptown to see the bill cunningham exhibit at the new york historical society. it was a sunday, frigid cold out, and the perfect day for a solo new york adventure. i'm sure by now you know my love for bill, and might remember the time i was completely star struck when i saw him in action. 'facades' was a fascinating exhibit documenting bill's photos of his friend, editta sherman, dressed in vintage clothing at prominent spots in new york city. i liked it so much i walked through three times. his photos deserved it.

2. see the little prince exhibit.

i dragged my bests audrey and andrea to see this at the morgan library and museum on a chilly spring saturday afternoon. it tells the story of how antoine de saint-exupéry wrote many iterations of the little prince in new york city, and it even holds the original pages of his writing and drawings.

3. channel 'gossip girl' and have a drink at the campbell apartment.

the campbell apartment was once the private office and saloon of john w. campbell in the 1920's and tucked away in a corner of grand central terminal. it's got great music, even better lighting, and one of the best manhattans in town. couldn't help but think, 'xoxo gossip girl' the whole time.

4. saturday morning run around the central park reservoir.

just cause, you know, it's sort of picturesque. and it seems like it's what true new yorkers do. 

5. plant a garden in new york city.

because that seems normal, right? i always say that the next place i live i'm going to have a little back patio and be able to plant flowers and drink tea basking in the sunlight on saturday mornings. well, the first friend i met who had a square foot of dirt in her 'backyard,' i convinced to let me plant a garden. she is a gem and i can't thank her enough. 

6. drink rosé in sheep's meadow {again}.

i've learned that nothing says summer in new york like an afternoon spent in sheep's meadow. so, what did we do on the first day of summer? you're looking at it.

7. visit dumbo.

if you wanted to know, dumbo stands for 'down under the manhattan bridge overpass' and ever since i saw this picture on instagram's instagram account, i've been wanting to reenact it. mission accomplished. i love how you can spy the empire state building through the base of the bridge.

8. go to gma.

i'll say it once and i'll say it again, i am a self-proclaimed gma addict. i've started nearly every morning with robin, george, lara, amy & co for the past five years, and watching them each day at the gym has provided me with such comfort while living in new york {,similar to how sarah & vinnie do, too}. there is something incredibly fascinating to me about producing the news and i left feeling nostalgic for my news anchor besties.

9. finally get to abc kitchen.

to get into abc kitchen you have to call exactly one month ahead of time from your preferred date at promptly 9 a.m. to reserve a table at a decent time. when asked, people frequently say this is their favorite restaurant in new york city. the ricotta toast with strawberry jam is everything. and, how lucky i was to have my mama and my second mama in town.

10. get a mister softee...with rainbow sprinkles!

who doesn't love a classic vanilla cone!? it seems mister softee trucks are parked on every corner of manhattan in the summer and i've refrained until... now! it's like eating vanilla flavored air. it's heaven, really.

11. try the bloody mary's at the st. regis.

a while back, a google search entitled ‘best bloody mary in manhattan’ revealed to me that the st. regis was near the top of the list. at $25 a pop, make sure you drink it slowly {we may or may not have had two}. they are perfectly spicy and delicious. 

...so that's a wrap {for now}! i am so grateful to be able to partake in these adventures. they certainly do make this new york life sweet. there are still a few things to cross off the 'ol list. i'll keep you posted, of course. love love. 

to essie, with love.

i've had several pinch me moments upon moving to new york, and meeting essie and her husband most certainly has been one of them. they are the sweetest duo in new york city and they have so kindly taken me under their wing as an adopted daughter from the west coast. a queens girl herself, essie is the heart and soul of this city and i admire her quick wit, sense of humor, and genuine sweetness. she is the living, breathing example of how following what you're passionate about can lead to sheer success. as she says, life is too short not to follow your passions. 

essie is an aol expert, a project i run at aol, in which we partner with fantastic influential individuals on creating engaging and premium video content for aol users. i've been so fortunate to meet the most interesting people along the way, essie included.

in one of essie's videos, she describes how to pick the perfect red. it all comes down to your skin tone - simple tips from the wisest beauty expert on the block. and don't forget, you're never fully dressed without a manicured nail.

i am so grateful for these two wonderful people and i'm thankful that new york has connected me with such lovely human beings. i will cherish my moments with them throughout my entire life.

*for more articles on the essie + aol collaboration see The Frisky, Elle, and Entrepreneur. 

on loving and leaving.

the night i arrived in new york city my driver thought i was a movie star.

gina martini he read aloud as i climbed into the back of the big, black suv. he paused, glaring down at his paperwork as if it would reveal any hint of who this wide-eyed girl with six oversized pieces of luggage really was, because she most certainly was no one he recognized as famous. assumed it was a stage name, he mumbled from the front seat.

i soon found out that this nice man happened to be the same driver that was in the movie devil wears prada {mere minutes after landing and the adventure had already begun}. it was roy, remember him? it took me a second, too. he has a small cameo with anne hathaway... roy, i'm sorry, can you go any faster? flashes to him. i'm sure nate will understand. i didn't even learn his real name that night, so roy it will always be. now who's the celebrity? i thought to myself. 

well, roy and i became fast friends. he loved to talk. mostly about food. he talked and talked about all of his favorite restaurants in new york city. and i have to say, the notes i jotted down that first night still come in handy today. he indulged me in my questions about hidden gems and where to go on weekend trips outside of the city because, well, i guess i was subconsciously trying to leave this place before i even got here. and, i was so eager to take advantage of living on the east coast and travel to all the places east coasters go.

you know how certain songs evoke emotions when they're played during key moments in your life? like how i can't hear a dashboard confessional song without thinking of my first love or how rascal flatts puts me right back in my hometown with the windows down driving home from high school or how a certain lil jon song transports me to a party in the basement of a frat house. key moments in life, really.

well, the next day it felt right to start playing alicia keys girl on fire on repeat. i even set it as my alarm clock. so every frigid february morning i'd wake up in my very stark corporate apartment on thirty second and sixth avenue, where roy dropped me off and helped me to unload my larger than life suitcases, and heard 'she's just a girl and she's on fire.' i would then play it three or four more times on the way to work depending on how long i had to wait for the n or r train from herald square. so that's the song. the one that will forever make me think of moving to new york.

all of this is pretty pointless information for you, isn't it? the stories don't even really go together in one post, they are just two small details i've been wanting to tell you for a while. and also, they are things i might someday write in my very own goodbye to all that. a dear and incredibly wise-for-her-age-friend {and also fellow blogger!} got me hooked on this book, a compilation of essays from writers who have lived in new york city.

i've learned people come to new york for the same reasons - opportunity, experience, and freedom to name a few - they just articulate it in their own way, but there is a universal theme that pulls us here. at the same time, people also leave this place for the same few reasons, but mostly, in my opinion, because they are tired. tired of it all. in the book, my favorite cheryl strayed says it perfectly in her final essay...

in the end, i had to realize it was never meant to be. it wasn't new york. it was me. i'd entered the city the way one enters any grand love affair: with no exit plan. i went willing to live there forever, to become one of the women clad in slim pants and killer shoes and interesting coats. i was ready for the city to sweep me into its arms, but instead it held me at a cool distance. and so i left new york the way one leaves a love affair too: because as much as i loved it, i wasn't truly in love. i had no compelling reason to stay. 

so it's all happening, my friends. the whole love but not in love part... the ready to leave thing. i get it. i get the cycle of this place. but more than anything i'm just grateful for the ride.

*more thoughts coming your way soon. xx

oh new york, you're such a tease.

today was a rare day in new york city. it broke sixty degrees. yes, you heard me. sixty! and it's march eleventh. blue skies, warm air, and no down coat necessary. a little slice of heaven if you ask me.

but, don't be fooled, my friends, it's back to the usual freezing antics tomorrow. oh, new york, you're such a tease. but thank you, nonetheless.

so today, on this rare occurrence of the parting of the clouds, i did something i never do and left the office for lunch. bold, i know. i sat, took in the moment, and didn't check my email for a whole thirty minutes. i know what you're thinking, so rebellious! but it felt like i was downright breaking the rules. oh, new york, you have such a way of luring us into your demanding work ethic and your addictive ways.

the old version of me came to visit today. the one who takes a breather and notices the late afternoon light and listens to the songs playing on the radio {'oops i did it again,' thanks britney, and 'don't stop til you get enough,' thanks mj}. the one who watches the group of people walk by the window to pause for a selfie, observes the girl in the corner sipping her coffee looking as if she is waiting on a friend, and feels inspired to write. simple things, really. but the things that remind us that we are human and there is more to life than just a job.

i was recently in la - venice actually - and it was an early sunday morning. i was hopping out of the car with one of my bests heading into a yoga class, and it occurred to me that i missed this version of myself. the same one that came to say hi today. the one who carries little to no stress, soaks up the moment, and really lives life.

i think this is my biggest takeaway from my one year, one month, and ten days in new york city. i love it and would not trade one second of it for the world, but it promotes a different way of being. one that causes you to put your head down, to work hard, and to not ask questions because everyone else is working even harder. all of a sudden, certain parts of yourself get a little bit buried under the pile of chaos and no matter how hard you try to hang on to your old way of being, it's difficult to maintain in it's full capacity. so instead, you find yourself getting glimpses of the old version of you on an uncharacteristically warm tuesday afternoon in march at a cafe in soho.

oh, new york, you're such a tease. but thank you, nonetheless.

*photo from december via my iphone - the bryant part merry-go-round, an nyc bucket list item.

**just a disclaimer that this post is in no way meant to sound negative {because i am immensely happy and have so much to be grateful for}, but i did want to capture some of the raw parts of this experience and hope that someone finds comfort in relating to it. 

stoop sessions.

read this post as if we're sitting on a stoop. life chats feel like they should happen there, right?

i haven't felt like writing much lately. gah! {i am so embarrassed to admit it}.

my one year anniversary of living in this great big city happened this week. february second to be exact. one year! i'm not going to get all cliché on you guys and say that it flew by {even though they always do, don't they?}.

with this milestone comes a few choices to be made, like do i sign another one year lease? i don't want my path to be dictated by my lease, but it is a realistic factor. over the past year, there were times when i thought i couldn't stay any longer. but there were also times i was so in love with this place i never wanted to leave. and so, although i don't listen to the clash, the should i stay or should i go? lyric is on repeat in my head.

i'm not ready to leave. not yet. but i'm also not ready to commit to staying a whole year. i know i know what you're thinking, wasn't your twenty fourteen mantra 'settle in?' it sure was.

writing this, i think i need to follow the pursuit of this blog, to embrace it happening. i've got one year under my belt. i'm tougher, really. i've found a beautiful group of people. yes, things could be better. but they always can be. and right now, there's nowhere else i feel like i should be. yes, i get entranced by the west coast sunshine {thank you for those #nofilter's, instagram friends}. yes i get envious of backyards and spacious homes and no lines at trader joes. but maybe it's not time for that yet. i want it, but it also doesn't feel like it's naturally happening just yet. so until it feels natural, this is where i'll be.

in the spirit of making decisions, i was inspired by a dear friend to make a priority list. it goes something like this, written in an unfiltered way, and a very specific order.

///

one. get more sleep.

two. find time everyday to move, exercise, and get endorphins to feel good about myself.

three. ingest healthy food to sustain me.

four. be more open to meeting a guy by not being afraid to make connections no matter where i am.

five. be a good human - friend, sister, daughter, mentor - send cards, listen, be thoughtful.

six. take a little more time for myself - turn off the email, and make a conscious effort to separate work from life {this means take a true vacation soon!}.

seven. continue to excel at my job and be a sponge - learn all that i can and contribute to the greater good of aol.

eight. in the way back of my head, start slowly but surely crafting the next endeavor in my life while still honoring the phase that i'm in now.
///

...you know what they say, put it out there in the universe. no shame! ask and you shall receive. this next year is going to be about finding balance in this place. and being open to it all. no looking forward. no looking back. just being present.

i hope this inspires you to do the same. see you on the stoop soon for more life chats, my friends!

*photos via my iphone - taken in gramercy park, nyc.

settle in.

mid run uphill last week, i thought of my twenty fourteen word. two words, actually. they are settle in. last year my word was manifest, and well, this year is all about actually residing in this life that i've created. to settle in it.

i'm not going to lie to you, new york has been a bit of a love-hate. there were moments when i thought i couldn't possibly last a whole year. on the toughest of days when i felt worked to the bone, i found myself fantasizing about driving across country, starting my own business, and living by the beach. all of which might happen someday, just not yet.

i am whole-heartedly determined to be happy with exactly where i am. and i mean that with every single cell of my being. i'm making this the mission of my life - to honor it, exactly as it is. i think it is absolutely okay to want new and different things. to evolve to the next phase of life. to remain curious. to figure out what isn't working, and change it. to learn what makes you happiest and go for it. to move toward accomplishing what you want. but, once you actually get what you want, remember to relish in it. to treat it with care. to hug and squeeze it everyday. because it's only a matter of time until it's gone.

that's what moving to new york in twenty thirteen taught me. it hasn't been easy, but it has been worth it. and it's time to settle in and stay for a while because this life is all just temporary.

in the spirit of resolutions, i wrote up a few simple things that i want to keep in mind this year. here goes...
do more pilates. lift more weights. reach my goal weight {that i've been so close to for so long now}. fall in love. go on more dates. make a smoothie a day. work a little less, play a little more. oh, and stress less, it's only work. send a few more cards. work on the blog. take time to read blogs. treat my parents with care. call my sister. do feet-up-the-wall pose for two minutes a day {reverse that gravity!}. take a writing class. do more jazz. learn photoshop {once and for all}. dabble in calligraphy. make sleep a priority. go on an exotic vacation. be friendly. make connections with strangers.

...and of course, settle in. get cozy. stay a while. for how much longer, who knows? i do know i will be grateful for and embrace where i am now. the future will unfold exactly as it should.

though posts were a bit few and far between in twenty thirteen, i want to thank you for still stopping by. your loyalty means the world to me. this year i wish for you to relish in the present moment. to gather all the pieces of your life that make it unique and hold them close to your heart. love those pieces. they make you the beautiful person that you are.

*photos found here, here {harry winston}, and here {love you, glitter guide}. 

because you're worth it.

before december disappears on us - heck - before twenty thirteen does, i have to squeeze in just one more *pinch me* moment. sometimes at work, i am lucky enough to be the fifth or sixth person in line asked to attend certain events {and hopefully cover them} when others on the team can't. it's one of the perks of being on a lean 'n mean team of talented folks.

well, this time i got to attend the l'oreal paris women of worth event at the very swanky pierre hotel in the upper east side. it was a night spent honoring a select, nominated group of women who are making a difference in the world. many leading ladies chosen by l'oreal were in attendance to give the awards. it was a jaw-dropping-i-am-in-awe-and-oh-so-very-inspired kind of evening. you can read my article over here on stylelist and here are a few photos shot from my iphone.

starstruck over hoda, lea, diane, and andie {we're going first name basis here}.

sweet trisha yearwood {this is when i parked it right next to the press from extra and e!} 

the presenters cheat sheet. 

my favorite star sighing of the night... mr. bill cunningham himself. it was beginning to feel like this whole new york thing wasn't real without seeing bill in the flesh {remember this post?}. and so, there he was, blue jacket, vintage camera, and all. i guess it's real after all. 

the bottom line after experiencing this night was that there are some pretty kick a** women in this universe {amen to that!} and i'm just trying to be more like them. i snuck out at the end on a high. a complete high. that's the thing about this city, in the matter of minutes, just as it has the ability to make you feel down and out, it has the ability to make you feel like just about the luckiest and coolest girl in the world. new york is a great metaphor for life - take the good with the bad - it all evens out. i am so grateful to have had this *pinch me* moment... one that i will cherish forever.

pinch me moments.

so that one time when i lived in new york and got attend the victoria's secret fashion show...

...the story i'll think back on and smile and feel lucky and grateful to have had that experience. celeb sightings, taylor swift performing, and probably the most beautiful human beings on the face of the planet walking the runway. this rivals the two thousand nine grammy's {yes, it was documented the second month i started it's all happening...!}.

i remember in college we would huddle around the tv at theta for this momentous night in early december {a religious routine!} and motivate each other to be healthy, and to somehow, someday look like a victoria's secret model {so silly!}. and then, a few weeks ago, i found myself sitting in the audience staring at the a-listers in the front row thinking to myself, how did i get here? 

taylor kicks it off with british invasion.

alessandra ambrosio poses for shipwrecked.

karlie kloss puts her hands up during snow angels.

adriana lima waves during snow angels {and that's adam under her arm!}

the grand finale!

i think the lesson here is really in embracing it. don't ask questions. just go forth. hang on to what you're good at. persevere. stay strong. stay grounded. say yes. take chances. soak it all in. and live. live life for all that it's worth.

it was a night to remember forever and i am so so grateful. pinch me!

p.s. you can tune in on tuesday, december tenth to see the live show on cbs. also! check out the media running on stylelist as well as the countdown clock starting december fourth. so excited!

on feeling like your old self.

i feel like i met my soul again today.

hi soul, nice to see you. it's been a while.

not much happened to be honest. whether it be the candles burning a familiar and comforting scent, the dilly dallying, the fresh pressed juice, or just getting lost in a cup of jo for hours, i found my soul again. i knew we would find our way back to each other somehow.

today was quiet. today was still. the kind of day where you don't follow a jam-packed agenda, but instead, just take care of yourself. much needed, my loves.

i'm so grateful that i've found one of these days in nyc, for a while there i didn't think it was possible.

p.s. you may notice a pretty new font in the header and a link revisions in the top nav. i hope you enjoy and that it makes things easier for you, my sweet readers. xoxo

*photo by our fave max wanger.

i just can't get enough.

when i was little i used to spend hours upon hours dancing and singing in the entry way of our house. there was what i'd like to think of as a stage in my make believe land, but really it was just a single stair that served as a platform looking out onto my mom's fancy living room. i pretended {oh i pretended!} that i had an audience - a full house - watching me perform. of all the time spent dancing on that step {blasting amy grant, spice girls, and mariah carey to name a few}, the moments performing scenes from the broadway musical, a chorus line, are the ones that stand out to me the most.

since moving to new york, i've added three more broadway shows to the list... the book of mormon, jersey boys, and most recently, annie. i love them all {jersey boys might be my most favorite of all time}, but there was something about annie that brought me back to the days of being a kid, channeling my inner clara, and truly dancing like no one was watching on that foyer.

there is a song in annie entitled nyc in which daddy warbucks serenades annie as he prepares to take her out for her first time in new york. its goes something like this...

what is it about you 

you're big 

you're loud 

you're tough nyc 

i go years without you 

then i 

can't get 

enough 

enough of the cab drivers answering back 

in the language far from pure 

enough of frankfurters answering back 

brother, you know you're in nyc 

too busy 

too crazy 

too hot 

too cold 

too late 

i'm sold 

again 

on nyc 

and the chorus...

you crowd 

you cramp 

you're still 

the champ 

amen for nyc

as i sat up on the second balcony peering down at the stage, i smiled. not because it was funny, but because there i was, all grown up, seeing a show that took me right back to being a kid. and, here i was listening to these lyrics all about this new city i am living in, which couldn't ring more true. it's tough... too this and too that, and yet, i just can't get enough. 

that bright eyed and bushy tailed dancer i was, never would have thought i'd be here. never would have imagined i'd be spending my friday nights in times square, or my tuesday nights at a jazz class in midtown. but, here i am. what was once a big scary place is becoming my home for now. that smile had every bit to do with the fact that i'm digging deep to embrace my inner dancer, the one with spirit and charisma and charm who believed that she didn't need an audience to dance, she just did it because she loved to.

{photo sent by a dear friend. thank you. at the time i had no idea this post would come out}.

on the little things... like color.

when i first moved into my apartment i was insistent upon putting the head of my bed facing west so that i would have a perfect view of the empire state building. you know, because why wouldn't you want to roll right and gaze up at it in all of its magnificence? turns out, feng shui didn't support that plan, so now my toesies are the lucky ones with the perfect view.

also several days after living here, when i proposed the question to a native new yorker, how do you know the meaning behind the colors of the empire state building? she told me to start subscribing to timeout new york. it tells you in there. so, what did i do? subscribe the very next day in hopes somewhere in that magazine, would be the key to uncovering the meaning behind the colorful lights.

well, no such luck. while i do love timeout new york for reasons i did not know that i would upon first receiving it {i'm a sucker for the fine print of free events happening around town}, there is no mention of the empire state. no full page spread or legend that unveils the meaning behind the unique color combinations like i thought there would be.

and see, those empire state light changers, they take their job s-e-r-i-o-u-s-l-y, so i was just slightly disappointed... do it for them!

really the point of this ridiculously pointless post is to share with you the discovery i made...

what color is the empire state building dot com.

yup, you read it... a website dedicated just to this very purpose {it's currently saved as a bookmark on my phone}.

now when i sit and stare from my window and watch the camera flashes go off until all hours of the night, as tourists pile on the observation deck, i know.

i know that tomorrow will be pink, pink, pink for breast cancer awareness and i know that thursday will be red, blue, green in honor of the fourth annual self esteem weekend. see! these things are important. fun facts. and quite honestly, one of the most fun things about living in new york city.

it's the little things, my darlings. good night! sleep tight.

ph, please.

when i walk the perimeter of gramercy park i feel like i'm in a novel. one full of mystery and characters with an exorbitant amount of money, and yet still wallowing in their sorrows. when i gaze up, i picture the protagonist, a tortured young, rich girl perched by the window in her penthouse apartment, peering down at me, watching my every move.

see, i get into it! there's something about those buildings... they hold secrets only the imaginary characters in my head can tell me.

the other day, i got the below scan of the wall street journal in an email from my mother.

as it turns out, arnie, her co-worker, who receives the wall street journal all the way over in a small town in california, took it upon himself to snip this page out to share with my mom.

is this your daugther's place?

ha! i wish! although, it is just around the corner. i do love that he circled the $42 million in case we might miss that minor detail.

a couple weekends ago i decided to go seek out this gem of an apartment and maybe, you know, introduce myself to mr. anderson. i awkwardly stood outside snapping photos while the doorman gave me the eye as he "swept" outside. no sign of the millionaire, but i am considering adding to my new york bucket list taking a dip in that infinity pool.

i am grateful for my neighborhood. thankful that of all the ridiculously overpriced places to live in new york city, i somehow ended up in this neck of the woods.

ps. i did purchase this book at the strand not too long ago. see, it really does exist!
p.p.s. i once spotted johnny depp parading the park. it was a pinch me moment.

ten minutes.

i've been tasked with a little project.

write ten minutes a day.

ten, that's all. not eleven. not eight. ten. creative, non-work, thought provoking writing. nothing has to come of it. just words. strung together. so, here's my attempt at those ten minutes. i have no idea what's about to come out. maybe not my best work, but i've got promises to keep.

in the scorching heat today, i had a thought on my walk to work. how many iced coffees must new york go through during the course of a summer? LOTS. oh if i could do a study on that one! then it dawned on me that i am one of those crazy new yorkers downing her venti iced coffee {in t-minus two minutes. but that's another story entirely}.

today on our usual nine forty five am starbucks run, it dawned on me how grateful i am for this little routine. the gals who work there call us the sex and the city girls. i can't quite figure out why, but i'm going to attribute it to this absurdly curly 'do i've got going on this summer {no time or patience or air conditioner strong enough for hairdryers}. i digress.  

anyhow, as long as i live, i want to remember these coffee runs. the mornings i got compared to carrie bradshaw. today i am grateful for new co-workers and the words it's on us today girls and just really nice strangers, but also not-so-strangers who have a unique and unattached way of brightening your day.

i think that's at least fifteen minutes now. ahhh it feels so good.

look up.

i'm starting a little series called what i love most about new york in which i'll feature something i love most about this city. gratitude journal a la new york edition. so, volume one. here goes...

new york's buildings amaze me. all you have to do is look up to see what i mean. from the ground level they seem rather similar, and then all it takes is a tilt of the head to notice how seemingly unique they are from one another. a brick one here... a stone one there... all fitting together like a perfect puzzle, or a horizontal version of tetris. i love the arches that usually border the top row of windows and the intricacies in the molding. some twist and turn based on the block, and some embody the strictest of lines.

all i know is i have these masterpieces surrounding me and i am grateful to see them tracing the clear blue sky. so, remember, always look up. you never know what you might find.

on the street.

you guys.

have you seen bill cunningham new york yet? it's an oldie at this point, as it came out in 2010, but oh it's such a goodie.

bill is the dearest man you've ever met, a true artist following his passion for fashion on the streets of new york for nearly five decades now. five decades! 

his life is simple and sweet. every day he gets dressed in his blue french worker's jacket, hops on his bike, and snaps photos of real, everyday outfits on the street {um, hello, he's the original sartorialist}. he captures themes, trends, anything he deems interesting, reporting it all over here at the new york times in a weekly sunday spread {guess who's their newest subscriber!?}. he also {begrudgingly} does a voice recorded weekly round up here. what a treat!

you'll laugh out loud, you'll cry, and you'll be inspired by the message he most certainly is imprinting on the world.

it is as true today as it ever was, he who seeks beauty will find it.

it's now on my new york bucket list to see him riding around the streets of new york on his bicycle with that camera swung around his neck. let's hope i'm wearing something decent that day.

and to think lately i've been doing google searches for summer 2013 fashion trends. i just need to check in with my new friend bill, the humble fashion prophet capturing it for us in real-time. thank you, bill, the world needs more people like you.

*photo via. 

secrets and confessions.

can i tell you a secret?

why, yes, of course. it's what i seem to do best here, share secrets.

two of the things i absolutely want to do now that i live in new york {wow, that statement seems surreal}: write and dance.

actually, the secret really is that it just might subconsciously be part of the reason i moved to new york in the first place. to pursue writing and dancing and for my life to come full circle. while these are two hobbies one can pursue anywhere, somehow they feel very real in this city of possibility.

i had a best in town this weekend, and as i sat across the table from her discussing our own happenings in our very different phases of life, it dawned on me that the most spectacular part of mine at the moment is that i have no idea how it will turn out. and something about that fact excited me, and made me want to sit back and be a spectator as the adventure unfolds. life is an adventure if we make it one, now isn't it?

i currently have several tabs open in my browser, all of which are derived from google searches and my two secrets: grad programs for writing, editing, publishing, & journalism and best jazz dance class in nyc. 

oh and one other thing, i had three - count it, three - dreams about being in love this week. just sayin'.

and also, i really want a dog.

*photos on my be free pin board here & here.

homesick hour.

i can confidently say that i moved to the gem of all neighborhood gems in nyc. irving street is a storybook street if i ever did see one, and i am grateful to be able to make it part of my daily routine. one of the most sacred parts of my day is the quiet sidewalks at dawn en route to equinox. and then again late at night on my way home looking north to see the chrysler building lit up in all of its art deco glory.

the tulips are blooming around these parts and same with the blossoms on the trees. spring, is that you? the weather is slowly but surely catching up and there certainly is something in the air. oh, new york spring, i'm excited to meet you. you sure are doing something right, because if this was california, the daffodils would have come and gone just in the month of february.

just wanted to share a few photos with you on this sunny saturday morning, yet to rise from under the covers. i find this particular time of the week to be prime homesick hour. these moments of stillness with nowhere to be. but today... today is okay. it must mean this place is starting to feel like home. i'm learning that we all have the ability to create our own homes, no matter where they are in the universe. all we need are a few keepsakes, a cozy bed, and a place to be happy to walk outside and explore. which is exactly what i'm going to do.

happy weekend everyone! 

xoxo, g