i just can't get enough.

when i was little i used to spend hours upon hours dancing and singing in the entry way of our house. there was what i'd like to think of as a stage in my make believe land, but really it was just a single stair that served as a platform looking out onto my mom's fancy living room. i pretended {oh i pretended!} that i had an audience - a full house - watching me perform. of all the time spent dancing on that step {blasting amy grant, spice girls, and mariah carey to name a few}, the moments performing scenes from the broadway musical, a chorus line, are the ones that stand out to me the most.

since moving to new york, i've added three more broadway shows to the list... the book of mormon, jersey boys, and most recently, annie. i love them all {jersey boys might be my most favorite of all time}, but there was something about annie that brought me back to the days of being a kid, channeling my inner clara, and truly dancing like no one was watching on that foyer.

there is a song in annie entitled nyc in which daddy warbucks serenades annie as he prepares to take her out for her first time in new york. its goes something like this...

what is it about you 

you're big 

you're loud 

you're tough nyc 

i go years without you 

then i 

can't get 

enough 

enough of the cab drivers answering back 

in the language far from pure 

enough of frankfurters answering back 

brother, you know you're in nyc 

too busy 

too crazy 

too hot 

too cold 

too late 

i'm sold 

again 

on nyc 

and the chorus...

you crowd 

you cramp 

you're still 

the champ 

amen for nyc

as i sat up on the second balcony peering down at the stage, i smiled. not because it was funny, but because there i was, all grown up, seeing a show that took me right back to being a kid. and, here i was listening to these lyrics all about this new city i am living in, which couldn't ring more true. it's tough... too this and too that, and yet, i just can't get enough. 

that bright eyed and bushy tailed dancer i was, never would have thought i'd be here. never would have imagined i'd be spending my friday nights in times square, or my tuesday nights at a jazz class in midtown. but, here i am. what was once a big scary place is becoming my home for now. that smile had every bit to do with the fact that i'm digging deep to embrace my inner dancer, the one with spirit and charisma and charm who believed that she didn't need an audience to dance, she just did it because she loved to.

{photo sent by a dear friend. thank you. at the time i had no idea this post would come out}.

this one's for the wedding montage.

on october 12th, 2013 my bestest friend got married. and i wrote a speech. speaking in front of others isn't something that comes naturally to me... writing here feels much more comfy. but, it was an absolute thrill so i wanted to share it with you. cheers to love stories!

***

hi, everyone. for those of you i don't know, i'm gina, one of alexis's maids of honors and very best friends. i'm so excited to be up here tonight because i've pretty much been looking forward to this moment since the very first day i met alexis. so, please know it is an absolute gift to be standing here.

i do actually remember the first day i met her {if you don't count the time we serendipitously attended the same info session at usd in the spring of 2003}. it was in the common area of our freshman year dorm at ucsb before school started. she was in a gray sweatshirt, maroon juicy sweatpants, and rocking a bun on top of her head. high school ladies, i'm sure you know the exact look i'm talking about here. it was the freshman year uniform.

and i, ironically enough {while i have no idea what i was wearing} was walking into the dorm with a friend of hers. it was he who initially introduced us, and while i hesitate to give him any credit since we learned shortly thereafter that we were to live directly across the hall from each other, it was this torrey pines mutual friend who bridged that first gap, and i will forever be grateful for that rare moment.

alexis was the first real best friend i ever had. she taught me what it meant to have a supportive, compassionate, trustworthy, loyal, and true person by my side. we were in a scary and unsure phase of life, going off to college... both the oldest of two siblings leaving our families for the first time, both timid to be in a new place... one that consistently made the list of top 10 party schools in the nation, and both very much connected to people and aspects of our home.

i think, looking back on it all, that god sent me alexis as a guardian angel. the closest thing to a sister, aside from my own, that i'd ever have.

in prepping for my speech tonight, i re-lived some of our college days by going back through every facebook message we had ever sent to each other. i don't know if any of you guys have ever done this, but you should because it is a real treat! anyhow, it turns out that i had been writing this speech all along...

the message string began with a message from me on september 16, 2004, which would have been fall of our sophomore year of college, the first of our 3 years living together as roommates.

the subject line read: theta.

the message: theta love!

from there begins an epic coming of age story of two girls navigating college and then transitioning to the real world. the stress, the angst, the insecurity, but also the pep talks, the silliness, and the inspiration that exist in this chain are a true symbol of two friends being there for each other every step of the way in such unchartered territory.

the facebook messages even revealed to me the first time i met brian. it was february 16th, 2008. a saturday. right after they became official. we were at robby and elizabeth’s in la jolla and did a quick stop-in to meet brian before heading to see our favorite tristan prettyman in la. what i remember most about that first encounter was just how clear it was that brian knew he was meeting someone important. and i don't mean that in a self-boasting kind of way, i mean it genuinely, in a this-is-the-real-deal kind of way. my second time hanging out with brian was the day after. it was a night spent sitting at his kitchen table - with james - in fits of laughter about gosh knows what now, but i remember laughing so hard it hurt and many an inside joke were born. the thing was, it all came so easily. the comfort was there from the beginning.

one of the biggest gems i discovered in this facebook correspondence came from a message sent on november 14th, 2007.

me to alexis: 

i can't believe you are like going to get a boyfriend... what? where did he come from?

and alexis in response: 

i'm not getting a boyfriend, gean. it was one movie, one kiss, and two tattoos.

well, friend, i guess you were wrong about that one.

i once emailed brian in the winter of 2009 when i knew alexis was going through a bit of a rough patch. since i couldn't help solve the problem with a therapy walk to sands like we'd done countless times before in college, i reached out to him as he was the person who was her greatest source of love.

in more words than this, i wrote:

i know you are, but please take care of my little alexis. you are such a positive influence in her life... one of her role models and inspirations and sources of love. i'm so glad she has you.

and in brian's response he said:

i will do everything in my power to help her regain that spirit and that spark. gina, i promise i will take care of alexis. i love her too.

bri, you've always been a keeper. always. you let me sit in the front seat and you in the back when alexis drives. you let me have the bed while you sleep on the floor. you get on the phone too when I call for advice and weigh in with your own. you let alexis and i name your tattoo mitchy without even getting mad about it. but, most importantly, you love my best friend the way she deserves to be loved, and for that i will be eternally grateful.

alexis, i remember when we were in hawaii with my family in the summer of 2006 snapping photos on the beach. after one in particular you said to me this one's for the wedding montage. for some reason, that always stuck with me. like we were in this together. like we'd be looking out for each other on this road to falling in love and getting married. so, here we are on your wedding day, and in this moment i could not be happier for you.

i'll end with a quote that i once wrote to you, soulmates are people who bring out the best in you. they are not perfect, but they are always perfect for you.

so here's to brian and alexis, the kind of soulmates who will always bring out the best in the other. and, here's to a lifetime of being perfect for each other.

i love you both!

***

ps. for more on the characters in this tale see here and here. 

on the little things... like color.

when i first moved into my apartment i was insistent upon putting the head of my bed facing west so that i would have a perfect view of the empire state building. you know, because why wouldn't you want to roll right and gaze up at it in all of its magnificence? turns out, feng shui didn't support that plan, so now my toesies are the lucky ones with the perfect view.

also several days after living here, when i proposed the question to a native new yorker, how do you know the meaning behind the colors of the empire state building? she told me to start subscribing to timeout new york. it tells you in there. so, what did i do? subscribe the very next day in hopes somewhere in that magazine, would be the key to uncovering the meaning behind the colorful lights.

well, no such luck. while i do love timeout new york for reasons i did not know that i would upon first receiving it {i'm a sucker for the fine print of free events happening around town}, there is no mention of the empire state. no full page spread or legend that unveils the meaning behind the unique color combinations like i thought there would be.

and see, those empire state light changers, they take their job s-e-r-i-o-u-s-l-y, so i was just slightly disappointed... do it for them!

really the point of this ridiculously pointless post is to share with you the discovery i made...

what color is the empire state building dot com.

yup, you read it... a website dedicated just to this very purpose {it's currently saved as a bookmark on my phone}.

now when i sit and stare from my window and watch the camera flashes go off until all hours of the night, as tourists pile on the observation deck, i know.

i know that tomorrow will be pink, pink, pink for breast cancer awareness and i know that thursday will be red, blue, green in honor of the fourth annual self esteem weekend. see! these things are important. fun facts. and quite honestly, one of the most fun things about living in new york city.

it's the little things, my darlings. good night! sleep tight.

ph, please.

when i walk the perimeter of gramercy park i feel like i'm in a novel. one full of mystery and characters with an exorbitant amount of money, and yet still wallowing in their sorrows. when i gaze up, i picture the protagonist, a tortured young, rich girl perched by the window in her penthouse apartment, peering down at me, watching my every move.

see, i get into it! there's something about those buildings... they hold secrets only the imaginary characters in my head can tell me.

the other day, i got the below scan of the wall street journal in an email from my mother.

as it turns out, arnie, her co-worker, who receives the wall street journal all the way over in a small town in california, took it upon himself to snip this page out to share with my mom.

is this your daugther's place?

ha! i wish! although, it is just around the corner. i do love that he circled the $42 million in case we might miss that minor detail.

a couple weekends ago i decided to go seek out this gem of an apartment and maybe, you know, introduce myself to mr. anderson. i awkwardly stood outside snapping photos while the doorman gave me the eye as he "swept" outside. no sign of the millionaire, but i am considering adding to my new york bucket list taking a dip in that infinity pool.

i am grateful for my neighborhood. thankful that of all the ridiculously overpriced places to live in new york city, i somehow ended up in this neck of the woods.

ps. i did purchase this book at the strand not too long ago. see, it really does exist!
p.p.s. i once spotted johnny depp parading the park. it was a pinch me moment.

words to live by.

sometimes when you don't have any words of your own, it's best to lean on others'.

these three quotes get me through as of late, and remind me to look for the magic, be happy for the moment, and trust that everything is happening as it should.

i miss this space, and writing here feels foreign. it's both comforting and heart-wrenching at the same time. just know, i think about you everyday... i'll be back soon.

{quotes via love notes, a gift from a friend}.

six trends to watch this summer.

to be honest i've been sitting on this post for at least a month now, but better late than never.

trends are such a funny thing to me. i spend hours thinking about where they come from. the runway? yes. but also no. if i've learned anything about new york, it's that this is much more so the birthplace of a trend than san francisco.

for example, upon arrival to new york, i noticed that wedge sneakers were in. who knew? i'd never even heard of such a thing! either that trend never hit the west coast or i was not paying attention. so, after some light magazine reading and being challenged to know current trends via my job {you can watch the video i appeared in on behalf of stylelist for aol jobs to chat about what not to wear to the office this summer with the fashion editor of redbook magazine}, i put together my own little list of summer trends that i've got my eye on. so, here's my take on summer style and the looks i might try. ready, go!

in tribal we trust.

i love the idea of mixing in one piece of tribal print for some extra flare like the photo above, or even going all out with a long dress. i also see pops of ikat on iphone cases, backpacks, and nail polish. either way, you can find everything tribal you need at go jane.

pucker up for peplum

it's here in many-a-form - tops, skirts, and dresses - and quite frankly, i think it looks cute worn every which way. j.crew carries a simple top... and i might just have to click purchase {photo via}. 

bare in bandeau.

this music festival {in my opinion} inspired trend is really all about baring your midriff, so call it what you will, the point is your top is officially cropped. this takes the meaning of toned abs to a whole new level. check out asos for some inspiration. 

crazy for cutouts. 

this summer, back is in. so is side. in fact, showing just a little bit of skin in unusual ways is all the rage. the key is balancing the fine line of classy and, well, not so much. try lulu's to get it just right.

do it in denim.

always a classic choice, denim is popping up in everything. the classic denim cut off short, the easy breezy chambray shirt, even the manicure. denim is as present as ever {looks found here & here}

take that, tough girl.

so, the met ball? never hear of it until this year. or, i did, but i'm pretty sure it just went in one ear and out the other. well, leather is in. punk is in. the 90's are back. that's the buzz. mainly, i think the trend has seeped its way into certain pieces and so, a chic touch of leather is definitely a must. thank you, zara.

ps. just two more things to note that aren't necessarily broad trends, but items that are around every turn. the hepcat shade and the ankle strap heel {may or may not have just bought 3 pair}.  gotta love it.

okay, so long for now, loves. that's a wrap on trends. get 'em before the summer's over.  happy shopping! xo