between you and me {sorry mom!} i haven't been to church since last easter. in the past i talked a lot about yoga serving as my religion, but we all know how less frequent the chanting sessions have been these days. so, it feels like i need a little bit of inspiration, a reminder that it's bigger than you to bring me back to a place of peace.
last weekend during a jog on a perfectly sunny santa barbara morning {just a quick california trip!} i stumbled upon this gem on the side of a stone wall that lined a monastery. i stood there reading it over and over.
i prayed for us all to be instruments of peace.
and so, i hope this is one you'll file away. bookmark it and read it in moments of any everyday frustration, in 'hatred, injury, doubt, despair, darkness, and sadness.' and let it allow you to channel 'love, pardon, faith, hope, light, and joy.' because those are the things that make this life worth living.
i am so grateful i took that running route by chance, and for that moment standing in the sunshine on the corner just before turning toward the mission to take in the view.
namaste, my friends! peace peace.
i thought i'd never run again.
Tuesday, December 25, 2012
on the morning of october fifteenth i sobbed in a pair of open arms, convinced i'd never be able to take another step again without life-altering pain. all i knew is that i wanted it so badly to go away, but was completely hopeless that it ever would. in that moment and in the months to follow, running again seemed completely impossible and out of the question.
then on december twenty fourth i was able to put one in front of the other and i don't mean at a slow walking pace, ladies and gents, it was a full on {minimally painful} JOG {a slow, mindful one}!
these past several months have been an incredible learning experience. mostly i learned to slow down and to take care of myself. after an mri revealed on november thirtieth that i have a stress fracture in my sacrum i was seven weeks into the three month healing process. and, i couldn't help but look at the symbolism that i cracked the root of my body while basically on the brink of uprooting myself to a new city. life is funny that way {louise haye gets it}.
anyhow, this christmas i am so grateful for two healthy legs who still got me around while i healed. and although i'm not done with the healing process or tests that may get to the bottom of what caused this injury, i know that my body will continue to put itself back together. and for this, i am truly grateful.
then on december twenty fourth i was able to put one in front of the other and i don't mean at a slow walking pace, ladies and gents, it was a full on {minimally painful} JOG {a slow, mindful one}!
we have a christmas miracle on our hands!
anyhow, this christmas i am so grateful for two healthy legs who still got me around while i healed. and although i'm not done with the healing process or tests that may get to the bottom of what caused this injury, i know that my body will continue to put itself back together. and for this, i am truly grateful.
this too shall pass.
Friday, October 26, 2012
apologies, loves, for the verbose post that is to follow. oh, wordy.
to be honest, an injury is the last thing i expected. it's been a total of three weeks and what a wild and emotional roller coaster it's been. i learned a few things along the way {and still am since i'm just one big work in progress} and i thought i'd share them with you.
i learned that it's okay to give in to every emotion you might be feeling and acknowledge it with the energy you have left. for me, it was the fear that this injury was never going to get better. the fear that i couldn't walk or run again. the overwhelming anxiety that i wouldn't get to go on a trip of a lifetime. could i live like this? i thought to myself. when my answer was no i hit panic mode. see, dearests, when the pain is much bigger than us we just have to surrender to it and take care of ourselves in that moment as best we can.
i learned it's okay to be sad, frustrated, upset, and even uncontrollably sob into someones arms because you are so hurt and don't believe it's ever going to go away. you feel defeated. let that person reassure you that it will get better. i promise, sweet darling, it will.
this too shall pass. a mantra i learned never to forget.
i learned to attack from all angles. all hands on deck. sometimes you don't know where to start to get help so you go with your gut or a recommendation and you know what? that might not be the right thing for you. it's okay to try as many treatments and visit as many specialists as you need to. they are creating the recipe that will get you better. if one isn't working for you, stop. move onto the next.
personally, i've learned that acupuncture is helpful beyond ways than i thought possible. i am only two sessions in but i can see how it evokes paths to clear health and calming powers in our bodies.
find a good chiropractor. and find a good PT who calls you kid and who warns you that you might cry and wince in pain {i only shed a tear as i gripped to the table and succumbed to the releasing of the muscles}.
i learned that epsom salt baths are a must. sit in that tub. soak it in. clear out the impurities and the inflammation.
sit on lacrosse balls. do the stretches and exercises you're told to do. unfortunately i learned that sometimes turning to a prescription is the only thing that is going to cause immediate relief. if that's the case, i say do it. i also learned the ways of homeopathic medicine like arnica and trammel which should be taken in addition to something stronger.
i learned that i miss yoga and i miss running, but not as bad as i thought i would. funnily enough, there are more hours in the day now so maybe this break has been a blessing in disguise. it turned my rigid routine world right upside down, if you will. and i guess we all need that at some point in our lives. i know when i get back into exercise {which is a work in progress as even a small jog motion leads to discomfort} i'm going to be approaching it differently. listening to my body. what does it need? and not pushing myself beyond what i can handle out of guilt or for any unhealthy reasons. know your limits. you should be your own motivator of exercise, no one else. the body is a temple, treat it that way. everything in moderation, oh so true.
while i'm still recovering, i am so grateful to be better than i was three weeks ago.
and loves, if you ever need any help on injuries, please reach out to me i'd be more than happy to be the person you cry to. i'll tell you it's going to get better, i promise, sweet darling.
*photo credits found on my pinterest here, here, and here.
wakeup call.
Friday, October 19, 2012
i've been a bit absent here this month, my sweets. truth be told, i'm experiencing a bit of an injury that's occupied a large amount of my energy, leaving hardly a drop for creativity and good words and epiphanies that life is beautiful and all that jazz. i won't lie to you, it's been tough, but i think it's the universe teaching me an important lesson about my lifestyle choices as of late.
i pushed myself too hard, living in a world of too much and not enough {and not a good world at that}. i've been out having too much fun and if we're going to be real here, too much food, too much drink, and all the while counter-balancing it with too much exercise and not enough rest or relaxation. it's a lifestyle i cannot maintain, a pattern i desperately need to break, and my body finally gave out.
see, us libras, we strive for balance and i got lost on one side of that scale. as a result the muscles in my left hip, glute, and lower-back just decided to stop working properly. they clenched up real tight -especially when i decided to keep running through their red flags and hazard lights - making it nearly impossible for me to walk {my therapy!}. quite honestly, they're pissed at me, and i don't blame them.
but i truly hope we can make amends because, dear muscles, i need you. and you need me. we're a team. we keep this body moving and grooving. i'm sorry i tired you out and mistreated you. i promise if you are good to me again i won't abuse you. i'll treat you with every last ounce of love and care god gave us.
sincerely,
me.
and p.s. according to you can heal your life, hip injuries are tied to the fear of going forward in major decisions. hmm... i wonder what that could be? i do have a few things up my sleeve to be discussed at a later date. here's our affirmation: i am in perfect balance. i move forward in life with ease and with joy at every age.
xoxo.
i pushed myself too hard, living in a world of too much and not enough {and not a good world at that}. i've been out having too much fun and if we're going to be real here, too much food, too much drink, and all the while counter-balancing it with too much exercise and not enough rest or relaxation. it's a lifestyle i cannot maintain, a pattern i desperately need to break, and my body finally gave out.
see, us libras, we strive for balance and i got lost on one side of that scale. as a result the muscles in my left hip, glute, and lower-back just decided to stop working properly. they clenched up real tight -especially when i decided to keep running through their red flags and hazard lights - making it nearly impossible for me to walk {my therapy!}. quite honestly, they're pissed at me, and i don't blame them.
but i truly hope we can make amends because, dear muscles, i need you. and you need me. we're a team. we keep this body moving and grooving. i'm sorry i tired you out and mistreated you. i promise if you are good to me again i won't abuse you. i'll treat you with every last ounce of love and care god gave us.
sincerely,
me.
and p.s. according to you can heal your life, hip injuries are tied to the fear of going forward in major decisions. hmm... i wonder what that could be? i do have a few things up my sleeve to be discussed at a later date. here's our affirmation: i am in perfect balance. i move forward in life with ease and with joy at every age.
xoxo.
today is a gift.
Monday, February 6, 2012
sometimes i consider myself a runner. sometimes i don't. lately i'm more of a treadmill girl due to the shorter hours of morning light and the chilly weather. in due time i'll be back outside {with my running buddy}, but i really do miss it.
oh a whim this morning i decided to change it up. even though i'm not fully recovered, i needed to move. and i needed it be in the fresh air.
i forgot how different putting one foot in front of the other is on a dirt path rather than on faux rubber. not only is it harder, but it uses more muscles. today was more of a jog... a very slow run, if you will, so as not to overexert myself.
i was blessed with this scene...
it reminded me that today is a gift. don't take it for granted. feel lucky to be able to experience this moment. you are exactly where you are supposed to be.
oh a whim this morning i decided to change it up. even though i'm not fully recovered, i needed to move. and i needed it be in the fresh air.
i forgot how different putting one foot in front of the other is on a dirt path rather than on faux rubber. not only is it harder, but it uses more muscles. today was more of a jog... a very slow run, if you will, so as not to overexert myself.
i was blessed with this scene...
it reminded me that today is a gift. don't take it for granted. feel lucky to be able to experience this moment. you are exactly where you are supposed to be.
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