really.

more than anything i feel grateful. and i know what you're going to say... gina, isn't that word of yours a little overdone?

but the thing is, it's true. i made a choice to approach every life experience this way, so even when the going gets tough i'm still able to put things into perspective and fill up with nothing but gratitude.

i decided to leave new york.

it just happened. all at once. and when i decide something, well, there's no going back. what's done is done.

i blame austin. but i think austin saved me, really. it was early may and i hadn't left new york for almost four months after a looooong winter, a failed attempt at love, and an insane work schedule. i kind of forgot what life was like outside of this place, but austin reminded me. it refreshed my memory of big open blue skies and serenity and life's simple pleasures like waking up to birds chirping, babies, big houses, crafting, driving in cars, and lazy afternoons. things that i forgot existed. a lingering anxiety melted away from my being and my heart was filled with nothing but hope. and optimism. the feeling that life could actually be what i wanted it to be. funny how that works, don't you think? you have to physically and emotionally not have what you want, to realize what you do want.

the thing is, i never belonged here. but who belongs in new york, really? that's not meant to be negative {a phrase i keep repeating} or harsh, it was just always an undefined adventure. a challenge. a dream. a wish.

so i did it. and it was everything i hoped for somehow. but also not enough.

***
p.s. for more austin adventures take a trip down memory lane.

the truth of the matter.

i've been lucky enough to get to go to deer valley for three winters running {once i even squeezed in two trips in one season}. and let me please put extra emphasis on the word lucky here. i do not use this word lightly because it is an absolute privilege to be able to spend the weekend in such a breathtakingly beautiful place with, in my opinion, some of the best gals on the face of the planet.

my memories of utah prior to this said girls weekender {which usually occurs during sundance} are mostly filled with summertime family reunions. and my attachment to utah is mostly due to my love for mormons, and through the eyes of a few usual blogger suspects. exhibit a. dooce b. pink peonies and c. the jacksons.

the point of this post, however, is to tell you how incredibly grateful i am for girlfriends. i'm learning that the older we get, the busier our lives become. each of us is pursuing her dreams, falling in love, and moving to new cities… away from the one we all once found ourselves in. some of us are veering a little off our planned courses, but it's okay, because we continue to move toward what makes us happy.

the truth of the matter is that we're all in this together. i am blessed to have such rad girls around me. i love witnessing their journeys, and i am grateful they are witnessing mine.

just thought i'd share a few moments i captured throughout the past seventy two glorious hours in which too much wine was consumed, too many frozen pizzas were heated up, and too many dance routines were performed {actually, never too many of those!}. here goes...

"my office."

hair-caught-in-blowdryer-fiasco + good friends + boot fitting

dinner @ grappa. note to self: be more aware when you step into the snow in heels, we don't need anymore falls.

taslisker, aka heaven on earth.

st. regis for lunch.

outdoor pool time.

good morning.

our spot.

shoop! shoop! {right before our fingers froze off}.

#whencanweaprés {weekend hashtag}.

utah sunsets.

montage spa.

i love the twinkling trees.

and for your viewing pleasure, here's a video taken our first year at sundance entitled rose v. mallow. and, while i'm at it, here's the foundation of our killer dance routine caught on video.

well, while we're on the subject, dolls, what's your favorite girls weekend?

xoxo.

steady.

all i want to do is write.

the words take a while to come. the right words, that is. a whole long while. but eventually they come. and the floodgates open and inspiration hits. and it pours. like a rush of white light shining through my consciousness. steady now, sweet words 'o mine i want to tell them.

i was on a plane this morning and it dawned on me that writing is a whole lot like flying. and, not just any flying. the early morning kind.

it starts out dark. we are a whole mess of sleepiness and confusion. and then before we know it, we're soaring high above the world below us. we enter a universe that exists only within ourselves, above the clouds. our own safe, quiet, and protected universe where we must surrender control. the light {like the words} seeps in slowly, a swirl of all sorts of magical reds… and blues… and oranges. and then there is only brightness. we shine. we are blinded by the white light. we float, enduring the often bumpy ride, but we remain still within ourselves.

we are steady.

before we know it, we are back down to earth again amongst the noise. it's here we wait for the next time we get to soar, all the while grateful for the journey.

i was telling a friend the other day i wish i could write more. to feel that focused and mindful consciousness a little more often. maybe i need to take up flying.

tell me, as a writer, what is your experience like?

*song inspiration for this post: ben howard. pics from my iphone.

one lump or two?

i'm home sweet home after the most perfect trip i could possibly ask for. i feel so blessed to have been able to experience two cities that are absolutely magical in my opinion. i'm even luckier that i had two of the best hosts on the planet.

let's start with london, shall we?

i heart london. it's so easy. so walkable. such a seamless system of public transportation. oh that tube! genius. to be honest, i didn't plan a whole lot. i went with the expectation to not be too touristy, but to simply experience the city as if i lived there. and, well, that is exactly what we did!

you may have heard me mention one of my favorites, jamie, who took the exciting leap of moving to london in july. i think of her daily and i admire the brave step she took of living out one of her dreams to live in a foreign city. i've known jamie since i was able to sing and dance, which is really all my life. i consider her a sister, someone i look up to, and truly cherish. she's the kind of person that when you know you're one of her bests, that you matter. like really matter.

i was completely spoiled to basically have her all to myself as a personal tour guide for london and partner in crime for a whole week! oh walk we did. and talk. and laugh. and eat. and drink! and repeat every tube stop name {well, that was just me!} after the lady announced next stop, south kensington. next stop, goodge street. next stop, sloane square. oh i could do that all day.

i've decided that the best way to discover a new city is with one of your oldest, lifelong friends. you take a little bit of home with you wherever you go.

i could write you a novel of our adventures, but i'll let a few pictures speak for themselves and do my best to capture some of my favorite moments {there were just so many!}.

first off, i love the guards. they are so fascinating to me!

it wouldn't have been a proper trip to london without a stop at the queen's digs, buckingham palace, to see where william and kate had their smooch.

oh, benny...

harrods, you had me at hello.

there she is! it really is her great britain.

me, the whole trip: i love pounds! it's like fake money! {the only sane way to view the british pound}

mind the gap!

i heart you, notting hill.

and you too, primrose hill.

high tea {with a champagne appetizer} was a truly divine experience. i haven't giggled that hard in quite some time! one lump or two, darling? please notice the two men in the background. that is guy ritchie and the british {and extremely good looking might i add} actor, henry cavill {apparently he's the next superman!}. 

you guys, is it just me or does this look exactly like me? this poster was all over london promoting a new musical. the actress is named eliza hope bennett {we guessed kenzie! pretty close}.

fireworks in battersea park to celebrate guy fawkes day.

best night with these two!

in all honesty, these pictures don't do the trip justice. we had so much fun and did so many things it was just mental {my favorite british term}! and for an even better recap check jamie's post here.

take me back! truly counting down the days until i can make another visit. sending so much love. xoxo.

where in the world is...

i hope you can mind the gap in postings as of late. i'm currently on an adventure in the uk - a truly magical place! i'm having an absolute blast and i can't wait to tell you stories and learnings and all of the little things that are making this experience so special.

until then...sending love from across the pond.

*photo: london leaves - my iphone4.

now boarding united flight 930.

i sat down in 38h and this is what i said to myself.

i booked this trip on august 17th. it was a saturday evening and i was home at my parents house. i'm not sure why this detail is relevant to me, but it just seems important that that was the exact moment i decided to hit purchase. 

first and foremost i feel incredibly grateful for this opportunity. two conversations turned into two real ideas turned into two solid plans in two destinations.

traveling solo is a bit scary, yet freeing, wouldn't you agree? i don't know what i am about to encounter along the way, but i vow to have an open heart. to be kind. to accept how people treat me and to do my best to treat them kindly.

i vow not to get to nervous or let any travel anxiety take over my mind. i am alive. i am human. i am in this space. and i will occupy it. and be my best self. the self that is a joyous dancer who really isn't afraid of anything.

i hope to see a whole lot of new things. meet a whole lot of new people. to go home a happier, more well-rounded person. full of inspiration and ideas of what i want to come. what i want out of life. new perspectives that positively impact my life in san francisco. i've been craving some clarity lately. craving newness. craving something. a move. a change. well, i hope to find it here. and if i don't i'll come home knowing that that's okay too.

remember, life is beautiful. people are good. be open. soak it all in.

sincerely,
me

texas is so close to the sky.

austin really captured my heart, darlings. to be honest, it barely had to try though. one moment after the next, it continued to woo me in and shamelessly flirt with me so that upon leaving i was right in the palm of its hand. right where you wanted me, huh austin? gladly.

i am beyond grateful to have such a dear, true, and inspiring friend in austin willing to open the door to her box and let me jump right in and embrace life from her point of view {just like we did on my turf back in june}. and oh boy, do i just love the life she's created for herself along with our nurturing, stream-of-consciousness, unfiltered, therapeutic conversations.

so, here's what i learned in austin.

it fascinates me how two women can be at completely different junctures in life - single in the city and married to your soulmate ready for the universe to give you babies - and have many of the same triumphs and challenges. austin reminded me that life is one big classroom no matter what phase of life we are in. we navigate through our days trying to communicate clearly, set boundaries, and grasp what we want out of life. it is so comforting to know that maybe we never perfectly figure it all out, but instead constantly strive to live with purpose. i've decided that a day-in-the-life of each of your soul sisters is a mandatory exercise. learn from them, soak in their routines, and allow them to positively affect you.

visiting old friends forces us to reflect on our big pictures. ya know? we must summarize days, months, and years into an overarching feeling about our lives. talk about a good way to check-in on your happiness level!

there is nothing quite like a quintessential summer day. i said this exact line aloud as we drove home from a hundred degree day filled with whole foods, hike & bike trails, countless shrieking jumps into barton springs, cherry limeades from sonic, and uninhibited fits of laughter. it's days like these we are reminded that life is good.

it's okay to frequent whole foods four times in one weekend {i mean, it is headquarters after all!}.

austin has the yoga scene i thought might only exist in san francisco. i'm so glad i was proven wrong. yoga studios {and every kind of fitness studio really} seem to populate every corner. health and wellness is a way of life. see austin, here you go again speaking my language! to top it off, labor day happened to be a city-wide free day of yoga instigated by none other than lululemon.

sweating buckets becomes a natural and unavoidable occurrence that you just have to sort of start loving.

the most perfect cities have just the right mix of driving and walking.

if you keep your eyes peeled austin loves their wall art in the most mysterious of places.

i wish i felt comfortable saying y'all. somehow it doesn't feel the slightest bit natural, but oh a girl can hope {and practice in the privacy of her own home}.

try playing crazy eights to make you feel young again. it's funny how card games flood you with memories of the first time your grandma taught you how to shuffle.

pausing for open discussions during oprah's life classes makes it a whole lot more meaningful {okay okay, i need to call comcast and order more channels, i'm finally caving}.

finally {and most importantly} friends who believe in you and think higher of you than you could ever possibly think of yourself are the best kind of all. if you are lucky enough to experience this kind of friendship in your lifetime, well, consider yourself blessed. while i learned this long before austin, allie is one of my guardian angels. the kind that pick you up from the airport at one am, leave you welcome baskets full of magazines and snacks on your bed, and make you hot chocolate for a cozy treat. she's the mine is yours type with a special spot in her heart for the ones she loves the most. i admire her unlike any other. she knows what works for her and what doesn't and she embraces that with reckless abandon. she is not afraid to be who she is, grow from her experiences, and remain curious about the world. al, you remind me of the simple things i love most in life and i always part ways from you with a fearlessness to be the very best that i can be.

thank you for being the best host a girl could ask for. in the words of our friend joseph campbell, it is a privilege of a lifetime getting to be who you are. thank you for always helping me be who i am.

gioconda said that when she began practicing yoga she didn't have a lot of room left in her life for things that were part of her previous lifestyle. if her life was a lake, yoga was the drop that created a ripple effect allowing her to only include beautiful things and good habits. that's a bit how i feel whenever i spend time with allie. she is my good luck drop creating a positive ripple effect to keep only the good. namaste, soul sister.

london calling.

i have this curious obsession with london as of late. maybe it was all of the olympics hype. i am feeling a bit nostalgic for team usa. or maybe it's the fact that i have a dear friend {sister, really!} who recently took the plunge and relocated to londontown. or maybe it's my constant fascination with the distant aol london office...

i tell ya, something is calling me to that city.

{look, i already have the gear!}

on top of it all, i've had the travel bug for quite some time. i realized that now is as good a time as any, my sweet petunias.

the trip is officially booked!

i am beyond excited and incredibly grateful for the treat that is united miles, and for the opportunity to go on an adventure. scotland is on the itinerary as well and i couldn't be more thrilled. here's to exploring and taking a leap!

oh hi, seattle.

i was lucky enough to be able to travel to seattle for the first time this past week. and, i really want to be consciously aware of the luck in this trip. thank you, work. oh how i've been pining to get to the pacific northwest! even though i was pretty under the weather {and no pun intended due to the seattle climate} i was still able to enjoy a few hours of adventuring.

mostly i felt wrapped in a big hug by seattle. it's cozy, mystical, and green. with the space needle on the horizon, i sat on the courthouse steps eating lunch, trying to soak in what vitamin d i could, and i had this thought about traveling...

sometimes the best part is just existing in a new city by yourself. picking a place - whether it be a park bench, a coffee shop, or those courthouse steps - immersing yourself in it and pretending you are a true city dweller just for the day. what would it be like to live here? you ask yourself.

no one knows who you are, and the anonymity is oddly comforting and freeing at the same time. i believe you learn a lot about yourself when you don't know a soul. what direction will i walk? what exchanges will i have with strangers? what will i fill my day with? it's fascinating what one can discover about oneself on a solo traveling adventure. the key is to have an open heart and a genuine awareness {gosh, those keys certainly sound familiar}.

i wish a good independent trip upon you soon. xoxo.

next stop.

my mother lived to be one hundred and eight, she said. and every night she had a glass of single malt scotch. 

so that was her secret? i replied.

and diet coke. once before her hundred and second birthday she was wheeling her recycling out and a neighbor commented on all of the empty cans: 'that stuff will kill you.' my mother laughed and retorted, 'hunny, i've been drinking it for a hundred years.'

she became our best friend for the rest of the evening. more stories up that sweet woman's sleeve than countries in the all world. it just so happens she's visited over one hundred of them. a hundred and sixty six to be exact! she exclaims.

sitting next to her is phil. a stoic older gentleman with a more muted sense of humor, rather large round-shaped spectacles, and a good head of white hair. a silver fox in his own right. they're pals, phil and marie. travel buddies, in fact. every other month they take a trip together. current destination: maui. next stop: switzerland.

but they're story is unique, you see. they are friends. adventurers, really. at eighty five and seventy eight {marie seven years phil's senior} they explore the world together because, well, it's too early to throw in the towel.

they met years ago on a group trip to timbuktu {yes this place does exist in the west african nation of mali. you learn something new everyday}. he sat next to her in a vacant seat at dinner and the rest is history. she resides in cincinnati and him, seattle. but, every few weeks they rendevous. marie lost her husband thirty one years ago and phil lost his spouse as well.

but now, they have each other. friends forever. next stop, anywhere.

i'll likely never see this fearless pair again, but i'll remember them forever. like they did for me, may they inspire you to live to be one hundred and to never be afraid to explore the world. it's not too late.

*preciousness found here and here.

aloha.

aloha, loves! i'm still here, i promise.

just took a quick hiatus from everyday life into a dreamland called maui. a little break from technology {unless, of course, you count the kindle. i've barely looked up from the thing for the past two days}.

i'm completely immersed in the hunger games and while i admit i was late to jump on the bandwagon after not loving book one, my mind has completely changed.

the past five days were filled with nothing but sunshine, mai-tai's, warm air, family-time, poolside relaxation, and a nostalgia for trips as a little one {my how everything is so much bigger when you're a kid}. i'm so grateful for new memories in old places.

...and now, back to reality! xo

there's no place like home.

planes, trains, and automobiles. that's what's been happening at it's all happening this past week, dolls.

i'm so glad to be home.

you know you're in the right city when no matter how much fun you're having, your heart yearns for home just a little bit. you secretly think to yourself, ________'s got nothin' on my home sweet home.

how dorothy-esque of me. and click...click...click...go the ruby slippers.

some highlights...

saw williamsburg for the first time. such a hipster-y gem. thank you to my dear friend, dyl, for always being up for an adventure. great catch up time. also, {finally!} got to meet the one and only mrs. daily dubes. she is the sweeeeetest. go on, see for yourself.

...and onward we go to embrace yet another week. let's make it a good one, shall we?

tahoe.

i just had the best "summer" weekend, dolls. the kind that leave you thankful to be alive. i sure hope you did, too.




my body aches for the best possible reasons which include, but are not limited to the following... {entrez vous multiple-choice question lingo}.

paddle boarding.
water trampoline-ing.
head-first-into-the-lake-water-slide-ing.
peppering {why do you think they call it this? oh, because it's hot and spicy like pepper. nice try, gean}.
hours {yes, hours!} spent dancing on chairs belting out the words to everything from spice girls to stevie nicks.
heated flying marshmallow wars.
many-a-song spent perfecting "gypsy arms."
and, inevitably, deep deep belly laughs.

i feel the joy to my very core, literally.

{apologies for the delirious post. the kind where i tend to make nouns into verbs and verbs into adjectives. oh well. there's always tomorrow}.

i am oh-so-lucky to have such dear friends - second family really - who host me in tahoe.

kiss kiss!