on october 12th, 2013 my bestest friend got married. and i wrote a speech. speaking in front of others isn't something that comes naturally to me... writing here feels much more comfy. but, it was an absolute thrill so i wanted to share it with you. cheers to love stories!
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hi, everyone. for those of you i don't know, i'm gina, one of alexis's maids of honors and very best friends. i'm so excited to be up here tonight because i've pretty much been looking forward to this moment since the very first day i met alexis. so, please know it is an absolute gift to be standing here.
i do actually remember the first day i met her {if you don't count the time we serendipitously attended the same info session at usd in the spring of 2003}. it was in the common area of our freshman year dorm at ucsb before school started. she was in a gray sweatshirt, maroon juicy sweatpants, and rocking a bun on top of her head. high school ladies, i'm sure you know the exact look i'm talking about here. it was the freshman year uniform.
and i, ironically enough {while i have no idea what i was wearing} was walking into the dorm with a friend of hers. it was he who initially introduced us, and while i hesitate to give him any credit since we learned shortly thereafter that we were to live directly across the hall from each other, it was this torrey pines mutual friend who bridged that first gap, and i will forever be grateful for that rare moment.
alexis was the first
real best friend i ever had. she taught
me what it meant to have a supportive, compassionate, trustworthy, loyal, and
true person by my side. we were in a scary and unsure phase of life, going off
to college... both the oldest of two siblings leaving our families for the
first time, both timid to be in a new place... one that consistently made the
list of
top 10 party schools in the nation, and both very much connected to
people and aspects of our
home.
i think, looking back on it all, that god sent me alexis as
a guardian angel. the closest thing to a sister, aside from my own, that i'd
ever have.
in prepping for my speech tonight, i re-lived some of our
college days by going back through every facebook message we had ever sent to
each other. i don't know if any of you guys have ever done this, but you
should because it is a real treat! anyhow, it turns out that i had been writing this speech all along...
the message string began with a message from me on september 16, 2004, which would
have been fall of our sophomore year of college, the first of our 3 years
living together as roommates.
the subject line read: theta.
the message: theta love!
from there begins an epic coming of age story of two girls
navigating college and then transitioning to the real world. the stress, the
angst, the insecurity, but also the pep talks, the silliness, and the
inspiration that exist in this chain are a true symbol of two friends being
there for each other every step of the way in such unchartered territory.
the facebook messages even revealed to me the first time i met brian. it was february 16th, 2008. a saturday. right after they became
official. we were at robby and elizabeth’s
in la jolla and did a quick stop-in to meet brian before heading to see our
favorite tristan prettyman in la. what i remember most about that first
encounter was just how clear it was that brian knew he was meeting someone
important. and i don't mean that in a self-boasting kind of way, i mean it
genuinely, in a
this-is-the-real-deal kind of way. my second time hanging out with brian
was the day after. it was a night spent sitting at his kitchen table - with james - in fits of laughter about gosh knows what now, but i remember laughing so
hard it hurt and many an inside joke were born. the thing was, it all came so
easily. the comfort was there from the beginning.
one of the biggest gems i discovered in this facebook
correspondence came from a message sent on november 14th, 2007.
me to alexis:
i can't believe you are like going to get a
boyfriend... what? where did he come from?
and alexis in response:
i'm not getting a boyfriend, gean. it was one movie, one
kiss, and two tattoos.
well, friend, i guess you were wrong about that one.
i once emailed brian in the winter of 2009 when i knew alexis was going through a bit of a rough patch. since i couldn't help solve
the problem with a therapy walk to sands like we'd done countless times before
in college, i reached out to him as he was the person who was her greatest
source of love.
in more words than this, i wrote:
i know you are, but please take care of my little alexis. you are such a positive influence in her life... one of her role models and
inspirations and sources of love. i'm so glad she has you.
and in brian's response he said:
i will do everything in my power to help her regain that
spirit and that spark. gina, i promise i will take care of alexis. i love her
too.
bri, you've always been a keeper. always. you let me sit
in the front seat and you in the back when alexis drives. you let me have the
bed while you sleep on the floor. you get on the phone too when I call for
advice and weigh in with your own. you let alexis and i name your tattoo mitchy without even getting mad about it. but, most importantly, you love my best friend
the way she deserves to be loved, and for that i will be eternally grateful.
alexis, i remember when we were in hawaii with my family in
the summer of 2006 snapping photos on the beach. after one in particular you
said to me
this one's for the wedding montage. for some reason, that always stuck
with me. like we were in this together. like we'd be looking out for each other
on this road to falling in love and getting married. so, here we are on your wedding day, and in
this moment i could not be happier for you.
i'll end with a quote that i once wrote to you,
soulmates
are people who bring out the best in you. they are not perfect, but they are always
perfect for you.
so here's to brian and alexis, the kind of soulmates who will always
bring out the best in the other. and, here's to a lifetime of being perfect for
each other.
ps. for more on the characters in this tale see here and here.