february 27th

1. the lilies on our table...
they are so pretty and they smell so yummy...

2. walking to work.
i feel like i've already worked out when i arrive at work. this was such a fresh, brisk walk to start my day.
3. mom's emails.
subject: remember this song from dance
message:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rooyt3ptNco
just in case you need a good cry sometime
4. whole foods creative dinners.
had the urge to whip up something random - so fun. spending lots of time on a meal is good for a change.
5. friday nights in.
something about knowing that you don't have to wake up early makes me much more relaxed. haven't stayed in for a movie on a friday in way too long.

february 26th

1. thursday horoscope time again...
thank you for the instant message, my little transcriber.
"to see what is in front of one's nose needs a constant struggle," said george orwell. while that's true for many of us most of the time, i'm betting you'll be an exception to the rule in the coming week. you will find it easier than usual to escape from the trance of everyday life. as a result, perfectly obvious secrets that have been invisible to you will tap you gently on the forehead and say "look at me!" after the initial shock, there'll be a release of tension you didn't even realize you were carrying around, followed by a warm, fuzzy explosion of raw hope."
i love this. i want some raw and vulnerable hope...looks like i'll be having some epiphanies.
2. dad's visit.
i love when someone can see the environment you're in 50% of the time. i'm glad dad finally saw it - perspective is important.
3. getting excited for trips.
SD reunion. love it. i have butterflies just thinking of it. i need something to look forward to - it's healthy:)
4. email archives.
after doing some random searching i stumbled upon an email i sent to shannon on friday, january 11th, 2008 at 9:45am. for some reason i was so intrigued. my how much not only i've changed, but life as well, in only one year's time. i bet i sent this when i was bored at work on a friday.
subject: quotes.always.
message:
"you are master of your own fate, the captain of your own soul." - william ernest henley
"peace begins with a smile." -mother theresa
"fall in love...or fall in hate. get inspired or get depressed. ace a test or flunk a class. make babies or make art. speak the truth or lie and cheat. dance on tables or sit in the corner. life is divine chaos. embrace it. forgive yourself. breathe. enjoy the ride..." -solbeam
"peace. it does not mean to be in a place where there is no noise, trouble or hard work. it means to be in the midst of those things and still be calm in your heart."
-unknown
"there is no set path... just follow your heart!" -unknown
"you are so much sunshine to the square inch!" - walt whitman
"leap and the net will appear." -zen saying
"gratitude is the heart's memory. thank you." - french proverb
"you are the sum of a unique equation." - benvindo cruz
yup, that's it. i wish i could remember my reason behind sending this. was she having a rough morning? was i? what did i do that night? what was i wearing? funny how those tiny details in life disappear. days fade. all you're left with is an old email leaving you hanging...at least we have that documentation to be thankful for.
5. chad phone calls.
just looked at the call history. 1 hour 5 min and 28 seconds. guess we had lots to discuss.

february 25th

1. random acts of kindness.
today on the way to work a woman was walking her dog in the heavy rain sans umbrella or raincoat or any article of protection. she must have not looked outside before embarking on a dog walking adventure. down battery she ran from corner to corner trying to stay dry under over-hangs, but it was not working in the slightest. out of the blue a man yells: "miss! miss!" she pauses to look who is shouting at her. "here, take my umbrella. i have another one at my office." she replies, "oh no, it's okay i'm just one block up." her hair drenched, clothes soaked. "no, i insist." the kind gentleman hands her the fancy umbrella and she is at ease and continuing on her way. i thought this was so sincere and it makes me want to pay it forward. it's so refreshing to find generous people like that in the world. i hope we can all learn an important lesson on human connection from this stranger.
2. chit-chatting at work.
you know you're established when you can call an old friend and co-worker to chat at the office. this place doesn't offer many positive things, but it does give me some freedom.
3. calls from distant friends.
i got a call from an old friend...just to say he was thinking of me...felt special to make an impact all the way over in england. miss him. he taught me so much upon graduating from college - more than he probably knows - and really fueled my free spirit fire.
4. nextmuni.com
genius...provides that extra element of organization. i like knowing what to expect when it comes to arrival and departure times.
5. kickboxing.
i decided last minute to try a new class. might as well extend my workout and do something different for a change - i haven't been sore in a while. perfect way to get some aggression out.

february 24th

1. candlelight.
sometimes i think there's nothing more peaceful than falling asleep to my candles, heater, cozy bed, ipod, and a book. i love the reflection of my bamboo plant flickering against the wall. it adds to the peaceful haven i've tried to turn my room into.
2. french braids.
for some reason i can't get my hair just quite right lately...i really can do a fantastic french braid, though. elementary-school-running-on-the-playground-little-girl-style. baby pink t-shirt, jean shorts adorned with flowers and ruffles, socks folded down once, and spankin' white keds, running on the blue tires skinning my knees with a nice.french.braid.
3. totes.
THIS MADE MY DAY! my second tote bag i've ever received in my life from the same person both times:) i heart her. thank you. i will be using this puppy and thinking about love each and every time.

4. memories of the kae lani.
today when i was so upset i stood at the end of the pier, closed my eyes, and pictured myself in another place. i chose maui. i was 8 years old in a flowered sundress standing at the edge of the sidewalk facing the ocean with this 5 star hotel at my back. palm trees, lanai in the distance, sunshine, breeze, the water slide at my back.
it worked. i felt calm.
5. the weepies.
this made me calm today too...at yoga..."you turn me into somebody loved..." during side angle pose. such a special place in my heart.

february 23rd

1. love quotes.
“The beginning of love is to let those we love be perfectly themselves, and not to twist them to fit our own image. Otherwise we love only the reflection of ourselves we find in them.”
- Thomas Merton quotes
2. amluvsport.
my life-saver.
3. adele - "hometown glory."
must have listened to it about 10 times today. i love song obsessions.
4. sparkling mineral water.
my new favorite bubbly treat.
5. roasted brussel sprouts.
doused, dried off, spray with olive oil, salt, pepper, garlic powder. delightful.

february 22nd

1. sleeping in.
eyes didn't open until 10am. it felt so nice - my lack of sleep lately has really caught up to me so i treasure the morning hours when i can get them.
2. days when you're allowed to be lazy.
it happens incredibly few and far between these days where i do nothing but lounge. today, it was heavenly. i didn't even feel guilty dozing off to never been kissed on hbo. it wasn't the typical "adventurous" sunday i've embarked on lately. it was perfect and much needed and the way i see it, very healthy:)
3. couch + pink blanket.
there is something so comforting about my parents' couch and that pink blanket i've had forever. these two things combined is the definition of coziness to me.
4. oscar viewing.
a great form of entertainment to see these beautiful stars all done-up to perfection being celebrated for their work in movies. there is so much history in many of these films. it's so fun to watch the red-carpet and critique. i love that this event is part of our culture...so much time and energy go into making it a "show." natalie portman was definitely my fave followed by the incredibly inspiring kate winslet and (a new love for) anne hathaway.
5. heart to hearts.
i think a.m. and i have truly blossomed as friends. it's been quite a year for both of us full of learning and growing.

february 21st

1. the jackson street mansions.
whenever i'm feeling a little lost and in need of fresh air i'll walk down jackson street and dream of my future. husband, kids, range rover, and a beautiful pac heights home.
2. saturday morning exercisers.
the group of asians in the park really must be keeping some kind of secret with their exercise. winding their arms round and round. how could that possibly be beneficial? they must be doing something right, though. getting the blood circulating. and also, another observation - sometimes i feel like i should get a dog just to be able to get outside all the time and walk it.
3. apartments with bridge views.
walked in and had that "wow" feeling...huge windows along the back wall looking out to none other than the beautiful, sailboat-full bay, and the massive red golden gate. i want to live in a house with a view someday.
4. driving just to drive.
today annie's parents took us on quite the city tour - deep into the presidio, sea crest, baker/china beach, and all the way up to the legion of honor. i love to explore and look at nice areas. it makes you see things from different angles - such a pleasant car ride.
5. birthday dinners.
what a perfect excuse to come together - merge friends and groups with the new and the old. i feel like i've said this before, but i'm so thankful for sb connections in sf. this gives me hope that i didn't miss out on too much in college because i can maintain and create relationships from that period of my life right now.

february 20th

1. genny pep talks.
i don't see her too often - she is her own little free bird, but when i do she is truly concerned with my happiness level. if something is wrong, she wants to help. she is a beautiful person inside and out. she even gave me lavendar lotion to help me sleep.
2. my secret blog follower.
i was introduced to taylor through alexis & brian. he is one of the most gifted-with-words person i know. he makes for very interesting phone chats and makes it easy to be myself. i feel like i've known him way longer than 6 months.
"why haven't you posted g???"
keepin' me on my toes...thanks, t.
3. phone head sets.
love being hands-free at work. i feel so professional. great invention.
4. wall posts.
today i woke up with an out-of-the-blue wall post from courtney, my sister's best friend. it made me happy. i felt like an inspiring older sister to both her and ames. sweetheart.
5. gchat.
how did this get so popular? look at this fun and colorful screen i created :) it's the little things in life...

thank you, snag-it...my lovely screenshot taker...you make life easier.

february 19th

1. longing.
not a bad longing, but the longing for a place that holds such a special place in your mind. for now i have to live through ame and remember my days at the daily grind on thursday afternoons. such a therapeutic thought.
g: what's the scene???
a: ok it's fabulous
a: me and allie are inside
g: tell me everything
g: weather, etc.
a: about 5 people in line
g: people watching
g: guys calling out the names
a: whole bunch outside
a: it's sunny
a: guy just called for someones order
g: ha
a: woman in pink next to me eating a salad
a: i got a large iced chai
g: oh good choice
a: 3 other people on their laptops
g: do they have any low fat rapsberry oat muffins?
g: they are THE BEST
a: hahaha
a: i didn't look but i can
a: ok are u ready for ur horoscope
2 hours later...
a: gean
a: ur going to die ready
a: love save the empty is playing right now
2. horoscopes.
(specifically from the santa barbara independent . he's genius).
libra: evolution has given the human body a profound capacity to cure itself with its own resources, writes roger jahnke in his book the healer within. and yes most of us neglect to call on this inner reserve of natural medicine, looking mostly to drugs and doctors for the miracles we long for. whether or not you read jahnke's book, i hope you will deepen your relationship with your inner healer in the coming weeks. it's prime time to take a more active role in shaping your well being.
...i will be focusing on my health:)
3. dooce.com
she never fails to make me laugh. i'll just paste a little snippet from her "about me" section. maybe you'll heart this ex-mormon as much as i do. when i need to take my mind off work her wit and sarcasm always save me. i'm fascinated with mormons and even more so with ex-mormons.
"I grew up in a small suburb of Memphis, Tennessee, and graduated valedictorian of Bartlett High School in 1993. The reason I am telling you about the valedictorian part is because being able to say, "I was the valedictorian" is the only privilege I ever got in life from achieving that goal. No one ever hired me because I was valedictorian. The lesson to be learned from this is: AIM LOW. Save yourself the time.
My parents raised me Mormon, and I grew up believing that the Mormon Church was true. In fact, I never had a cup of coffee until I was 23 years old. I had pre-marital sex for the first time at age 22, but BY GOD I waited an extra year for the coffee. There had better be a special place in heaven for me.
I attended BYU from 1993-1997 and graduated with a degree in English. I firmly believe that BYU is the most horrible place on Earth, worse even than Disneyland. The one skill I learned in college that serves me well now is not how to solve differential equations or how to write a paper deconstructing The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock, it's how to distrust organized religion. I am no longer a practicing Mormon or someone who believes that Rush Limbaugh speaks to God. My family is understandably disappointed."
...that's only a little taste.
4. lunch on the pier in the sun.
i realize i'm thankful for this a lot, but today it was a life saver. veggie wrap, vitamin d, bay bridge, kombucha, great conversation. i needed this so bad.
5. straws.
so simple and yet so useful. i really stay better hydrated. thank gosh for them.

february 18th

1. a solid commute.
full of chatting and laughter and getting to work on time. it just felt so good to start the day out right. a smooth, copacetic ride.
2. nice smelling men.
every now and then cologne will take you by surprise. today as i did my normal battery walk something caught my...nose. it was so fresh and perfect - not the polo sport/hugo boss junior high smell...something unique. this random fellow made my walk to work.
3. exciting email chains.
i love that my friends get so excited about upcoming events...book club, tickets, concerts, wine, yoga, vball, birthdays...you name it, there's an email chain about it. love all the fun things to do and great people to do them with. i am l-u-c-k-y.
4. young and free.
as i ran down gough street hurrying home to change for a spontaneous wednesday night activity i just started laughing to myself at how ridiculous i looked. two words popped into my head - young and free. then i started thinking about carrie underwood...doesn't she write a song about this? i'm trying to get better at really being in the moment and becoming conscious of my mood and surroundings. this was a mini epiphany about being so free.
5. creating fedora memory #1.
tonight we went to cafe du nord...this little concert venue in the "almost castro." jay from the city was playing with his band tamarama. i am officially in love with the other lead singer who goes by pottsy. a doll and a half as i described him today. my heart hurt a little bit when i thought about whitney dating jay. i want to date a creative rockstar soul. love live music at a new venue with new people and a slight alter ego emerging due to the hat.

february 17th

1. a good cry.
today claustrophobia took over. i needed to get some air. of course i leave in the middle of a down pour (how would i know this when there are no windows?). i walk about 10 feet and duck into a doorway and lose it. it was like the weight of the rain was too much and the water was my tears. so i'm in the nook having a good cry under my umbrella during a down pour. it was almost cathartic which is why i'm thankful for it.
2. phone calls to dad during a breakdown.
he will drop anything he's doing to talk to me. when both of mom's lines didn't pick up, in comes my call to the greatest guy i know. i don't know how he puts up with so many girls, but he does the best job. i am blessed. thank you for caring.
3. random cm emails.
she hasn't forgotten about me! thank gosh. her song recommendations are the best when they're out of the blue. and, i also have to publish what she wrote so i don't forget it: "i am, gina, embracing it happening. my own life here in portland :) such an inspiration you are to me." i am oh-so-thankful to hear that! embrace it, sister.
4. fresh sheets.
i can't wait to hop in bed to the fresh-laundry-smelling-fluffy-ness. oh, it's heaven.
5. what should i be thank for today, ame?
"that you don't have to write papers anymore." while the real world comes with its own burdens and trials and tribulations that make paper-writing look like a cake walk, i guess i don't miss that feeling of absolute writer's block when it comes to essays. would i rather write an essay than sit in a cube all day with work stress? i'm not sure...something to think about. i just think her answer is so cute and simple. it also reminds me of a conversation i had with my dad today and how no one prepares you for the real world. your whole life you are prepared for college and you think getting through that will be your greatest achievement and that the rest will be a piece of cake. nope, not true. college is but a tiny chapter in the book of life. a mere stepping stone.

february 16th

1. mondays off.
this one looks like the last monday off until may...i love 4-day weeks.
2. red nails.
i woke up today, glanced down, and was loving bright red nails. it's so satisfying when they're perfectly painted. just a little belated v-day color.
3. fedoras.
i have been in search of one for almost a year now. finally got it. there is something about this look that i love. thank you, urban. i hope some fabulous memories happen in this hat.
4. s.n.o.b.
this place is so rustic and quaint and the absolute perfect wine bar. they always have live music. i've had some fun times in this place...my one and only blind date (can't help but laugh out loud), a great farewell wine date with cm, and several wonderful friend dates. they all make me smile. tonight was special - as the singer belted out stevie nicks and joni mitchell, i had a much needed heart to heart with my best friend. after 2 glasses of wine and thai food delivered right to the bar i'd say it was a night to remember.
5. recipes for happiness.
there is always a way to find the light - to find the good - you've just got to put your mind to it. i hope she always carries this white envelope in her purse and we can look at it when we're old and grey and remember the bad with the good and the life of a twenty three year old. i am thankful to have those moments where you actually feel like you're "being" a friend. we go through the motions in many of our relationships, but when you can actually feel yourself "being there" is when you realize that friendship is one of life's greatest gifts. i wouldn't be who i am today without her.

february 15th

1. lazy sundays.
i'm starting to like this routine of adventures - it's just what i need. get-up-and-go.
2. rainy day movies.
four movies in 2 days:) perfect rainy day activity.
3. making a homemade dinner.
this activity is so much fun and makes cooking so easy. each person does their part and dinner is on the table in no time.
4. laughing at the moment.
you're soaking wet, umbrella just about inside out, feet freezing, sideways wind blowing...pretty darn uncomfortable. but, there are those rare moments where you just can't help but burst out laughing at how silly the whole situation is.
5. my space heater.
that thing is a life-saver in this weather.

february 14th

1. valentine's day.
to be completely honest, i've never really had a true/cliche valentine. for someone so completely obsessed with romance, it's kind of funny, but more sad. valentine's day brings back memories of white nails with red hearts on them - so festive! and the gap v-day pajamas i wanted every year. and singing telegrams in high school and a single red rose with a heart-felt poem. "traditional symbols of valentine's day include hearts, doves, cupid and love notes. significance: lovers express their feelings to each other. observances: sending greeting cards and gifts, dating." while i feel like love should be celebrated every day, i'm glad a holiday for the soul purpose of reflecting on how much you love someone actually exists.
2. best friends reunited.
spending 24/7 together has resorted to spending a weekend together a few times a year. it doesn't come close to comparing, but it makes that small amount of time that much more cherishable.
3. unexpected cards from old high school loves.
thank you for making me smile and for the kind words.
4. naps.
i'm not a napper, never have been. but, on a rare occasion, i cannot get through the day without sleep. sometimes, it's nice to be so tired that sleep comes naturally. much needed today.
5. dinner at kates.
she is such a sweet hostess. sitting around the coffee table, reading "conversation starter" cards, taylor asked the question: "have you ever made a decision that has completely altered the rest of your life?" well, it hit me. i sat there with a room full of girls i would not know had it not been for my decision to attend school in santa barbara. and, it's funny, i'm not sure if i truly thrived there, but i sure did get something wonderful out of it: great girlfriends. had i not decided to go there, who knew if i would have decided to live in sf. life is too short to wonder what life might have been elsewhere. embrace what you've got, it's the only way to be. my life is changed for the good.

february 13th

1. documentation.
some days i almost want to turn this blog into things i want to remember forever so i can always look back and have a good feeling about the past. today i want to document something mom said so i can remind her of it - the hope and optimism that i feel like this year - 2009 - is bringing to many people i know.
leezeebee1:
aren't you proud of me!!!??
i made up my mind i was not going to get upset by anything and i didn't
2009 might be my year
**it is your year mom, it's each one of our years. this thought excites me.
2. self-improvement.
two things i want to be better at:
1. sending cards.
2. spontaneity
3. finley quaue - "even after all" & song memories.
sometimes there's songs that just get you - move you. this is one of mine. the best part is it reminds me of a specific time in my life, which makes it even more special. senior year of college, tuesday afternoons, lulu girls leaning against the pant table, reading the horoscopes from the independent while taking turns running out to the farmers market on state street. i miss it, but i'm so thankful that this image floods my memory when finley quaue plays. i am at peace. i miss lulu.
4. picture texts.
this one is just too good not to share. thank you for giving me a laugh after my stressful work today.

5. friday evenings.
i used to get so depressed on friday evenings after work - the pressure i would feel to come up with a plan was just too much. i always just ended up feeling so alone. today was so so different. i felt comforted...like the puzzle pieces of life were just falling right into place. the comfort of friends who i've been through so much with is so nice.

february 12th

1. live.love.laugh. reflections.
you know it's going to be a good day when you wake up and live.love.laugh. is shadowed against my bright yellow walls. it means the sun is shining. when i moved into my new room, the statue of those three words placed nicely on the window ceil was the true finishing touch.
2. seeing former president jimmy carter.
today truly took me by surprise...just an ordinary thursday that all started with stace and i opening a door for a nice gentleman while his hands were too full holding a plant. "will one of you get the door for me?" rich became our new best friend. before we knew it he was giving us a tour of "what lies behind the secret door." i always see people wander in and out, curious as to what goes on in there, but not brave enough to actually ask. well, rich let us go down and what do we find...a newsroom/recording studio where they shoot the 11pm nbc news. this all lies literally 10 feet from my plain-jane cube. well, today i felt lucky to sit there. rich informed us that "former president jimmy carter would be arriving today at 1pm." wow! nonetheless, right around 1 there were 3 government cars lined outside the building swarming with secret service agents - suits and ear pieces and all. anyhow, short story long, he strolled in surrounded by about 8 men - walked right passed my desk. he looked me in the eye as i turned around and smiled. i got a hello and a wave. i better brush up on my u.s. history. all i know is that he is a peacemaker and a crucial part of our history. it's funny how i'm just a normal 23 year old working woman and he's changed the world.
3. mom and dad's card.
what a surprise! i had no idea i would get a valentine's day card full of love sentiments. "you will always be first in our hearts!" i cherish these years that when i don't have a valentine of my own, i will always have the unconditional love of my parents. the best part is the return address..."from: the crazy house. home of critical minds and curious thinkers!" true that.
4. meg's card.
what an even bigger surprise! i am beyond grateful for the people that have come into my life this past year. what a year it's been. it reminds me of that line said by carrie bradshaw in the finale episode of sex and the city (i used this in my theta pref night speech and it will forever stick with me). it goes something like this: "today i had a thought. what if i...what if i had never met you?" this line is so real and genuine in the most intense of moments between four friends and i think it so perfectly and simply describes friendship. i know the ones close to my heart when i feel this way about them. each one of us brings something to the table in each one of our own friendships. meg's card warmed my heart - her words are so sincere and complimentary and i want to remember them each and every day. i love you!
5. running into annie on the bus.
so we made a rule to break our unhealthy-spending-at-whole-foods-habit. the only time we're allowed to go now is when we run into each other on the bus. not only does this save money, it makes a bus run-in that much more fun!

february 11th

1. the rain.
it's so bittersweet, but when it comes down to it, it is so necessary for ms. mother nature. the poor thing needs some hydration at the moment. i heard the other day that we're going to have to start water rationing soon. she needs to drink up and meet her daily requirements. i love the smell and the sound and the paraphernelia and the fact that i can spin my yellow and black hearted marc jacobs umbrella on my walk at lunch and look up at the clouds and hum silently to myself "i'm singin' in the rain." my little secret game.
2. random cravings.
i think cravings are so funny. i'm excited to see s.g. go through them:) today, mine was out of the blue. diet dr. pepper. i marched right down to safeway and picked one up. i'm not even a soda drinker. but, it all started when diet dr. pepper became an nbc campaign. i was sold. finally, my craving has been satisfied. then tonight i noticed diet dr. pepper being "product placed" all over the cw...guess the kids on 90210 really love the stuff. the marketing worked for me!
3. grocery store runs.
browse browse browse. sometimes i'm so at peace in safeway. just wandering the aisles trying to decide what to buy - there are so many options!
4. public transportation.
i realize this is an odd thing to be thankful - who likes "standing room only" and people shouting at you to "move back!?" but, when i really break it down, i'm lucky that it exists. life has been both fun and interesting this past year with no car. i am quite the "green" traveler - "leaving a lighter footprint", if you will. this is one of the fifty ways to improve your life in 2009, too! i am now applying the tag line on the grand opening shirts of lululemon sb to my life. between electric buses, cable cars, and the occasional bart, i think i'm doing my part in the commute department. i did have a thought regarding bus rides, though. sometimes i just want to be protected. there are some scary and angry people in that bus a lot of the time. i'm kind of looking forward to the day that i have a handsome young man to keep me safe. that thought makes me smile. for now i'll fend for myself and observe the ipod wearing, iphone fidgeting, engagement ring owning people and wonder what they're up to.
5. cleaning house.
that organized feeling is so invigorating. i think i have closet ocd. it's not up to par yet, by it'll do.

february 10th

1. pj's.
well, i should really say hard tails since that's what i've been sleeping in lately. they're just so darn comfortable. i stayed in them all day today. and, i'm just going to be honest, i didn't brush my teeth. don't judge - you know you've done it too. and, when you don't interact with one person (not even the ups man) i don't think it's so bad. i rolled out of bed at 8:30 and literally worked all day long at home sweet home in the pure silence of the suburbs. it's the perfect way to focus. whoever said working from home is not working is wrong. i've never been so focused. you put in longer hours too. the one downfall is just the single computer screen (nothing to complain about, really). anyhow, i kind of feel sneaky and laugh to myself thinking of how silly working in pj's is. flossing and brushing extra extra long right now...
2. runs to rancho laguna.
today on my run i thought about my blog the entire time. what i would write, the wit i would try to share. it made the run go by a whole lot faster. i think what was really giving me the kick start was the fact that each stride my mind was filled with every email that would populate my inbox in the matter of the 30 min i left my house. the speed came from the thoughts of 24 hour, microsoft office, msn, and itunes. has my life really come to this? motivated by the fear something would happen to my campaign while i was gone. it's silly, i know. thank gosh for that run, though. it was on the verge of raining and i got so happy as i pictured myself being one of those avid runners i've always wanted to be...drenched and sprinting and happy and free. i also was flooded with memories of birthday parties and bbq's and rollerblading and makeouts. all of which occurred in that little park. funny where memories are held.
3. career advice.
exhibit a: "listen to your dad he's been in sales and management his whole life, he knows what he's talking about." mom talks over him. dad speaks calmly after she's done. i love that they care about my well-being and professional life. they're so cute.
4. annie and her sweet little mama.
they really are so cute together. i admire their relationship.
5. artists making it big.
i feel so cool that i've known about erin mccarley from the beginning. literally, heard her song on one tree hill, paused ti-vo, went to get a pen and an index card, and wrote down her lyrics word for word. thank you, google...it brought me to what has seriously been one of my favorite songs of all time - "pony." now, "love, save the empty" is the theme song for the movie "he's just not that into you." you go girl. make it big. in another life i'd be just like you...singer/songwriter. i'm thankful soulful people like you exist for me to look up to. these are my lyrics for now...

february 9th

1. oh oh oh oh this is a brand new day...la la la la la laaaa
target commercials. see it for yourself, you'll be instantly happy: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KdTwVCNKxV8
2. the bachelor.
there's something about this show. i admire that everyone is there to find love. their conversations are so serious, but i love it. by far my favorite reality show on tv. i hope i can go on it one day.
3. dad willing to do anything for me.
i am thankful for unconditional love.
4. momma my little seamstress.
she is so concerned with my beauty and i truly appreciate her for it. she is so nice to me she's hemmed about 5 pairs of my pants in the last 3 weeks and picked out a number of shoes for me to choose from. i guess i can look at her as my own little personal stylist just looking out for my best interest. what a doll.
5. working from home.
i am fortunate that my job is flexible and lets me work a few hours at home. the bright side of the dungeonous place with just the three of us.

february 8th

1. THE GRAMMYS.
this is possibly one of the coolest things i have ever done. the best concert i have ever been to and just one of the most amazing events to witness. so many talented and renown artists all in the same place at once. so many people i admire and aspire to be like. i remember buying the grammy cd in 1995 - backstreet boys at their peak - thinking it was the coolest thing ever. something you only witness on tv. lucky ducky.
2. the grammy nominee party.
unlimited food, unlimited drink, four girls all dolled up ready to be silly, carefree, and happy. a night to remember. really embraced staying up late! one of the greatest feelings of the weekend was being told we'd be picked up at a certain time not sure where we were really going, but knowing deep down that it would be fab.
3. walking the red carpet.
it may have been the "fast track" lane, but i still felt in the action. stepping out of the limo where the rest of the stars came out was unreal. that small little walk was indescribable. we had no idea what would happen and then before we knew it there was ryan secrest interviewing kate beckinsale followed by jordan sparks and jay z. i will remember it forever. the best is looking at accesshollywood.com or people.com and having the feeling "i was right there!"
4. live music.
one of my favorite things to experience of all time. i get so happy i cry.
5. cpk lunch.
when you're lost and have no idea what to eat cpk is always the perfect choice. thank gosh we found it.

february 7th

1. feeling rich and famous.
door to door limo service at our beck and call. truly amazing.
2. alter egos.
an alter ego (latin, "the other i") is a second self, a second personality or persona within a person. we all have one and i think it's good to let her out every now and then...learn something new about yourself. keep her on her toes.
3. girlfriends.
the dynamic 4. our chemistry just couldn't have worked out any better. our personalities out in full force really bounced off of each other and got us into some great situations.
4. la being so close.
i've never realized how easy it is to make the hour flight down south. no, i'm not a good flier. terribly nervous, acctually. but with distractions and a cocktail it's not so bad.
5. the roosevelt.
what an honor to stay here..."hipster & swanky" are just two words to describe it. i learned a little piece of history as well.
-located just a block west of the chinese theatre, it's one of the most historic sites on the boulevard, and one of its few modern success stories. along with the el capitan theatre, the roosevelt was one of the few remaining treasures along hollywood boulevard that still preserved some of the glamour that was once hollywood.
-the hotel's "blossom room" hosted the first-ever academy awards ceremony, on may 19, 1929.
-shirley temple took her first tap-dancing lesson (from bill "bojangles" robinson) on the hotel's ornate tile stairway.
i am SO lucky.

february 6th

1. fleetwood mac in the morning.
"thunder only happens when it's rainin'...players only love you when they're playin'..." perfect way to get your day going.
2. checking in online.
it's like a game! i got the highest i've ever got - A25! wooo!
3. creating cups - making something out of "nothing."
this has turned into one of my new favorite hobbies...cups out of old candle holders, yogurt containers, adam's organic peanut butter jars...the list can go on and on...
4. movies on opening night.
there's something about that buzz of a movie...finally getting released. nothing but previews for months and months and you can't fathom it coming out anytime soon. and then the day is here and you think, where did the time go?
5.sisters.
we're at a time in life where we don't get to see each other that often. too short, but sweet.

february 5th

1. my toe is better.
embarrassing, yes. i mean i was worried there for a minute. it was so excruciatingly painful, but today it got better. thank goodness there was no amputation (yes, i'm overreacting).
2. deep chats.
i love analyzing life. a good deep conversation makes life worth living. dez taught me a new word tonight: "alignment." our definition: that two people are on the same page - morally; their perspective on life is the same or mutual; their attitude or perspective on life is complimentary; cohesive
3. trying a new restaurant.
sf is full of incredible food. yummm nopa.
4. crafty headbands.
when in doubt, spice up your look with an unexpected accessory.
5. inspiring others.
i want to be a teacher someday so i need to work on my influential skills. i think it's what makes the world go round. i can only hope i've inspired a handful of other people to feel blessed and reflect on what they have in their lives to be grateful for.

february 4th

1. routine.
wednesdays always remind me of how routine my life can be. i thrive. there's something so comforting about doing the exact same thing for one hour once a week. that "set in stone" feeling makes me happy.
2. balancing energies.
you know that feeling where two people's energy just totally balance each other out? the yin and the yang. i love that. good people find each other.
3. fro yo for dinner.
a perfect refreshing treat - great after a big lunch and an hour long yoga class.
4. immersing myself in san francisco.
another small epiphany as i walked up octavia. this city is so walkable. the ground one can cover is pretty phenomenal. financial district to northbeach to russian hill to the marina to pac heights all in one evening. the more i walk the more immersed and part of this place i feel.
5. one tree hill.
i find this show so creative. not so much the story line, but the way they transfer from scene to scene. i honestly think i've seen every episode of all six seasons. tonight, it gave me so much hope to find love. i want to soon...

february 3rd

1. motherly advice.
for some reason i feel as if i hit a milestone today. that brink between childhood and adulthood in the form of advice. it's kind of unexplainable, but i want to remember it so i'm documenting my favorite line: "you be the best on the inside and the outside and life will always hold good things for you. the perfect offense to many of life's challenges is to be the best you can be and be happy!!!!" i love you and i'm thankful for your wise words.
2. walking down the pier at lunch.
reminds me of my lunch walks this summer. i'm loving the uncharacteristically warm weather. it's nice to get out for an hour and see how other people live their lives. i'm fascinated by the man at the end of the pier who catches crabs all day...reeling those baskets up and down, only keeping the big ones and tossing back the miniature - those lucky little guys.
3. a good sandwich.
sandwiches truly are the perfect meal. they cover all of the food groups if you so choose. whole grain bread, turkey, avocado, and lots of veggies. treat your body right.
4. artificial birds chirping.
picture this: it's 8pm, totally dark, and it feels like sunrise and i'm waking from a dream just like cinderella and her little bird helpers. but, don't be fooled - it's just le meridian. those speakers are so deceiving. those "birds" make me smile when i'm caught up in my mission to catch the bus, and i'm thankful something so silly exists.
5. finding songs from tv shows.
i've found some of my favorite songs of all time this way. tonight it was "i shall believe" by sheryl crow playing at the very end of privileged (no, i never watch this show, but i should start).
"Come to me now
And lay your hands over me
Even if it's a lie
Say it will be alright
And I shall believe
I'm broken in two
And I know you're on to me
That I only come home
When I'm so all alone
But I do believe
That not everything is gonna be the way
You think it ought to be
It seems like every time I try to make it right
It all comes down on me
Please say honestly you won't give up on me
And I shall believe
And I shall believe
Open the door
And show me your face tonight
I know it's true
No one heals me like you
And you hold the key
Never again
would I turn away from you
I'm so heavy tonight
But your love is alright
And I do believe
That not everything is gonna be the way
You think it ought to be
It seems like every time I try to make it right
It all comes down on me
Please say honestly
You won't give up on me
And I shall believe
I shall believe
And I shall believe"

february 2nd

1. laughing out loud. "lol-ing."
me: weird that you've already gone to bed and woke up and i haven't yet
creepy
Maryly: haha what do u mean
you went to bed after i talked to you!
me: no but you're ahead
like you've already lived it
and i haven't yet
Maryly: ohhhhh right right
february 3rd is BITCHIN let me tell you!!
bahahahah
me: HAHAHAHHAHA
omg i'm laughing out loud
by myself
in my lame ass cube in this dungeon of an office
Maryly: hhahahahahahaha
2. walks to northbeach at lunch in commuter shoes.
i never realized how close nb is. just a jaunt over the hill and before you know it you're eating lunch in washington square park on a bench in the sun with the crazies...
3. random correspondence with ann during the week.
there's nothing like a great email from a.m. full of positivity and things to look forward to...sometimes they're my saving grace.
4. silent video chats with ame.
this is my new favorite past time. tears streaming down my face b/c it was so damn funny. i'm so thankful for sisters...she keeps me young. i love that we know each other so well and can sit there and type and laugh and not speak.
5. epiphanies.
every now and again - moments few and far between - i have an epiphany. i wish it happened more often, but i think their rarity is what makes them so special. today, i got the feeling, however brief it was, that my life is rich. and, when you think about it, isn't that what we're all striving for? a rich life full of love and friendship.

february 1st

1. sundays.
i cannot believe i'm thankful for sundays. i never thought i'd see the day. i'm still hesitant to be thankful for them, but today was such a good one, i cannot resist. i used to hate sundays...like truly dread how alone i would feel. that's recently changed. i now want to shout from the rooftops, "bring on the sundays!" i don't know why except that it's like i'm looking fear in the face. someone i admire at lulu told me once that sundays were such a gift and were her favorite day...i'm striving to be more like that. does that sound ridiculous that my biggest fear is sundays? makes me think of that quote by eleanor roosevelt that my mom gave me once to put up in my room: "We gain strength, and courage, and confidence by each experience in which we really stop to look fear in the face... we must do that which we think we cannot do. " okay, dear eleanor, i'll try.
2. being a tourist in my own city.
filbert steps, coit tower, lombard street. this city is beyond beautiful and i'm going to explore it and appreciate it's beauty every chance i get. i love seeing buildings and structures from new angles.
3. my travel buddies.
i admire people with a sense of adventure - who just want to get up and go. and keep going and going and walking and talking and climbing. sb adventures have turned into sf adventures. i'm going to be honest, the fact that they lived in san francisco before me made me that much more excited to be here and embrace it. i admire them - my little margo and dre.
4. superbowl sunday parties.
i must admit i've had rather interesting superbowl sundays in my day. one of which goes down as one of the best moments in my college career. it consisted of sunshine, canoes, ocean, sunsets, peace pipes, 3 best friends, laughter and woodstocks. today's party was a little different, but included old friends/acquaintances, a really great stoop, fire pixies (haha), and football.
5. dinner with friends.
i basically walked into pacific catch heaven. that's something to be thankful for in and of itself. this location is 10 times the loving hole-in-the-wall on chestnut. the only thing this one is missing is "russell from pacific catch." this dinner was filled with good food, obviously, but more importantly great conversation after a long day/weekend. it's so fun to be in delirium-mode playing "the favorite game." "favorite color muni pass, favorite moment in college, favorite year in college, favorite month..." it's never-ending and, yes, the favorite game is my favorite dinnertime game:)

january 31st

1. "let's walk the rez."
this is the perfect 2.73 mile loop. absolutely perfect. it captures so many things i love...babies, runners, dogs, couples pushing strollers, young moms gabbing, sunshine, water, green hills, & endorphins.
2. target runs.
i spent $116. on what, gina? just kept throwing things in. like i need new big sunglasses and a butterfly scarf and a flower clip for my hair. yes, i definitely need them. mom talked me out of the hat and the earrings that would infect my ears. thank you.
3. perfectly groomed brows.
this is such an art form. i'm happy to have my face a little more artistic now.
4. anticipation.
there's nothing like looking forward to a fabulous party. the night is young.
5. good company.
i love when so many people you love are in the same place at once. tonight's birthday party for my 3 beautiful girlfriends made me grateful for all the true connections and relationships i have in my life.